Hot-Pink and Black Chocolate Covered Diamonds

Come back down to earth

2005-04-11T17:14:00.000-05:00

Wow, this is a blast from the past. Man oh man, this, and WWE. Brings back so many memories. How many of you acutally remember this layout?

I haven't used it in a while so there's some editing to do but I'll do that later.

Did you know I missed you? God, I miss you.

2005-04-06T08:41:00.000-05:00

Holy crackers. It's been so super long since I've been here.. WOW. I'm looking through people's old blog and the old ASTEC blog and mine and I'm realizing how many memories lie here in this little ring of online journalism. I wish I could print out each post. *sigh* Brings back memories, both good and bad. DICTION WORD guys, nostaligia. I miss it so much, yet I don't. I may have felt lonely last year but somehow I miss it incredibly. I miss the closeness of all of my friends. I really really really hate it this year.

Yeah, I definitley think I'm going to start using this. Maybe people won't read it often, and if they do.. maybe they'll realize my true thoughts. Or maybe not, maybe people don't really care.

Yeah, I definitley miss last year a LOT more. It sucks so bad not having my best friends here. All of my friends that are here that are left pretty much hate me or don't give a damn. It's really sad. They're all bonded and I don't really like them so who does that leave me with? No one. Fuckers.

*SIIIIIGHHHHH*

My life sucks.

I think I miss you guys more than you will ever know. Please come back. Come back into my life. Be the friends I need.

Which Disney Princess are you?

my hands were shaking rather waste some time with you

2005-01-17T10:16:00.001-06:00

Okay, sooo I haven't posted too much lately. Except the picture posts. Hmmmmm. I'm trying to figure out where I am in life, who I really am. Right now, I'm not really sure. I hate being this way, being semi-depressed, not happy with life because then I'm NOT happy and I don't get to know who I am. But then again, it's moments like this that define me. You never know how strong a person really is until you see them at their weakest moment. I'm not sure what that had to with anything, but it was just kind of in my head. So I've realized I've been sorta selfish lately and really bitchy. So I'm sorry to all of you guys.

But my point is.. I've read all of these friend appreciation posts and e-mails and stuff and it just inspired me to do the same. [And Becky's post got me realize what would happen to me if I ever lost anyone of you] I know I don't do this enough, and you guys are so amazing for putting up with me all these years. I forget sometimes how amazing the bond of friendship is, no matter how far you grow apart or how many boyfriends/girlfriends come in. All of you guys, have been there for me at one point or another in my life. To talk to, to cry on, to laugh with, whatever it may be. EVERY single one of you. My best friends, friends through friends, people I know, all of you. I want you guys to know that you've made an amazing impact on my life. You mean the world to me, you guys are the best friends in the world. I couldn't ask for more. I would never ever ever be the same without you. Especially if I lost you. So no matter how much we fight, or talk, or don't talk or whatever... know that each and everyone one of you has a place in my heart, and has a friend in me. Anytime you need a friend, I'm always here for you because you guys are always here for me. Know that I appreciate you for being who you are, and that I love you for it. Remember when you feel lonely there are people in the world that DO care for you, one of them being me. Always. I will never forget you guys. I know in a couple of years, we'll all be departing and goin gour seperate ways, but I hope to always keep in touch with you. You guys have helped me shape who I am.. and without you, I don't think I would have gotten anywhere. So yeah. I LOVE YOU. But I think I'm gonna stop now cause I think if I get any more mushy, I'll fall over.

************
btw: You may have noticed I don't post here very much anymore. But I think most of you have realized I use my Xanga and Melo. So if you want to look at those more often, here are the URL's:

My Xanga
My Melo

You do happen to have a username to post comments or anything on both of those journal sites though. I'll do my best to update this one if there are people that still read it.

2005-01-17T10:16:00.000-06:00

.don't.call.my.name.out.your.window.i'm.leaving.

2004-12-16T22:25:00.000-06:00

I'm sick of writing every song about you..
Okay. So. I'm in such a little emo mood right now. I just read through this super long conversation/argument that was on a friend's xanga. It was really sad, and it makes me realize how sometimes I take my friends for granted. And once again how tragic what happened between us really was. UGH. It's sad how people let the pettiest things affect them. To a point where you are willing to give up your friends because of little things that in the end, mean and matter nothing. At least nothing when you compare them to the beauty of true friendship. After time, the tiniest arguments grow to daily fights where you throw insults back and forth at each other because it makes you feel better. When it doesn't, it only makes you feel more miserable then you already do. And you never really realize it until it's gone. No matter who's fault it was.. it happens, and you're left sitting alone with nothing but tear-stained faces and empty hearts to look forward to. All over something stupid. Do the fights really matter? Does it really matter who's fault it was? What really matters? It can never be fixed. What's past has past.

***You can never take back the awful things you said. How much you hurt me. How awful it feels to know that even now, you don't even care. Or want to try. How you think that everything was all my fault. And I can even say that's partly true. But did you ever stop to think about how I felt? Everything I did for you. For you to be happy. I sacrificed my feelings.. my happiness. All for you to be happy. Does that make me a true friend? I'm not sure. But I always tried to act it. I always tried to act like it was fine, like it didn't bother me. I always did that with everything. Nobody ever knew. I was always the emotional girl. The bitch. The annoying emotional bitch. And when I finally couldn't take it.. when I finally had to just forget you two all together.. it backfired. People got angry and I only lost more friends. This isn't even all about me liking you. I got over that. My biggest concern is that fact that I lost you as a friend. And that we can never be friends again. I tried to tell myself so many times I didn't care. That I knew this would happen eventually. You would go away to school and I would still have everyone else. I thought we had it resolved. All those days.. at your house, and talking back and forth through e-mail. I thought we had resolved it. I thought that we could put the past behind behind us and start over. With new hopes for a better, stronger friendship. But no. It'll never happen. Because.. I don't even know. Well forget it. I'm sick of tormeting myself about this. I can't anymore. I just can't. When you want to be friends again, try someone else. Not after what you said. Not after what you did. I'm sorry. This has been ruined and it can never be fixed again. It's killing me inside but I can't hold on to something that was never there. ***

Sorry. I went through my own little rant there. Just had to get it out. You see? How awful it is to lose a friend? It's the worst feeling ever. Especially someone you felt was your real friend. Someone who you thought you could trust with anything. And for that person to turn around and stab you in the back. To place other people before you.. making you realize you were never a priority at all. You never mattered. You were just there.. for back-up. Or simply a replacement when no one else was available. Gah. And I feel like this is happening with all of my friends. I feel like I've lost the only friends who truly understand me. And the rest that are left, don't care.. or don't have time. I feel like I'm slowly being pushed out of peoples lives. Like nobody has time anymore. Maybe this is my fault? Maybe I've distanced myself too much. I have no clue. I just want my friends back guys. The loving, caring, FUN ones.. that I would die for. And most importantly.. would die for me. Not to sound selfish, I just want my life back. I guess I'm not good enough. I never could be perfect.. I tried so hard. And I can't. Did anybody ever really care?

Happy Turkey Day.

2004-11-25T13:00:00.000-06:00

I, like Leesh, was not going to say anything about this.. but her idea was a good one. I hope she doesn't mine me taking it. This year, I'm thankful for:

.music_ My one constant comfort and joy. lol. I don't know what kind of emotional state I would be in without music.

.friends_ Yes.. I know. I complain about them all the time. But seriously. Where would I be without friends? Where would anybody be without friends? They are what keeps me waking up every morning. I would die for almost any one of my friends. Thanks guys, for always being there. Even when you're not. [[ wow, I'm confused now ]] But seriously guys. You rock. Even if I don't always tell you. I love you.

...more specifically...

.kacy_ You, my dear, have been the most amazing person this year. Thank you SO SO SO much for always being there to hear me ramble on and on about boys or friends or whatnot. You rock and I love you.

.devin_ My bestest friend in the whole world. I love you, you keep me in reality when I'm off in la la land. You are almost exactly like me, you think the same way.. the only one that does. I love and miss you so much.

---there are so many more, so don't be offended if you're not on here, i love you all---

.melo_ Sadly. My beautiful and gracious Melo that has kept me alive. You listen to me when I'm angry, and when I'm sad, and when I'm happy. And delete my posts and make me hate you again. I love you Melo. Thank you for coming back. My meloversary is coming up in January. One year.. whoo.

.christmas_ After Thanksgiving, is Christmas.. my absolute FAVORITE holiday ever. Something about the season spirit just lifts me up and keeps me happy for about a month.

.thanksgiving_ Haha yes, that's right, I'm thankful for Thanksgiving. It's nice to have a time where you can sit back and be grateful for all the good things in your life. It's just happy. Plus.. there's lots and lots of yummy food.

Crap. There's so much more, but I'm trying to not be.. I dunno. I'm weird. I'll add more later.

Won't you think I'm pretty when I'm standing top the bright lit city?

2004-11-15T17:40:00.000-06:00

Aghh. I'm so bored right now. I have a crapload of homework to finish. Thanks to my lovely teachers. I'm starving, if you guys can believe it.. I haven't eaten since lunch.. like.. 12:30. Boy stink. Girls stink. Geez. Is it too much to be wanted? To feel like you're loved? To feel like your friends actually care about you, or want to hang out with you? It's always me. Everytime. Anything we ever do, is like.. my doing. No one ever invites me anywhere. Well that's not true either, but like.. my friends only can hang out with me when I'm going somewhere with them. Ugh. I'm so sick of it all. Sick of school. Sick of people at school. Sick of the stupid boy that is stalking me at school. Sick of my mother. Sick of life. I wish it would just all go away. I'm sick of people scrutinizing, and judging, and criticizing me. And talking about me. Or worse, not even ever thinking about me. Nobody cares. And why should they? I'm just a little speck in this giant world of chaos. Gar. I just went off and read one of my friends journal things. Somebody tell me why we are all so depressed. Tell me what I can do to help myself. Maybe it's not me? And maybe that right there is the problem. I'm so damn stubborn. I think that every problem I have is somebody elses fault. And I still honestly think it. I understand I'm not the most pleasant person to be around all the time. I understand that I do some things that upset people. I understamd that life is hard and everyone goes through the same thing and it will all pass and whatnot. It's so awful, hearing the same crap over and over again. I really really hate life right now. Actually, that's a lie. I don't really hate life that much right now. But I still feel like I'm loosing all of my friends.. nobody talks to me anymore. Ughhhh. Okay bye.

Beware the rantings of Di.

2004-11-04T17:25:00.000-06:00

Good song. Anyway. Ughhhhh. I'm having such an awful day! It's like everyday.. I come home and I feel miserable. School used to be so much fun, now, it's just something I HAVE to do everyday.. nothing I look forward to. Basically, school is pure HELL for me this year. It's so incredibly bad you have no idea. Suprisingly, my grades aren't AWFUL but they are definitley lower than where I expect them to be. *sigh* Everything is lower than where I expect it to be. Geez. People at school, with the exception of a few.. you basically all suck. Heh. I hate to be negative.. and I hate to even say any of this since it will most likely cause fights and whatnot.. but I basically just have to speak my mind. If not.. I will resort to letting my anger out other ways and that will not be good. I'm to a point.. where I don't really care what anybody thinks. I'm sick of censoring my posts to protect others feelings. It's about time I protect my own. It's like everyday I feel like breaking down.. and one of these days I will. First of all.. Valerie. I love the girl, I really do. But we just don't get along. Plain and simple. But her personality mixes with mine. I'm so sensitive.. it doesn't seem like but I do pretend like things don't bother me. But anyway.. she just has this way of making fun of people all the time? And it's so incredibly rude. Or at least from my standpoint. Like.. I can't be around her because it bothers me so much. The way she puts everyone down. The way she is so bossy. I don't know, I guess I'm the same way but whatever. I just don't get along with her.. we don't hang out and shouldn't. Umm. Truley. I love her too. It just annoys me because we went through this stage where I *thought* we had figured everything out. But still, nothing has changed. And it seems I'm the only one who cares. Yeah.. I say we have to talk. But nothing ever happens. She never wants to. She can't ever go anywhere, and I understand that that isn't her fault.. but it just gets to me. Um.. as for everything else.. it's pretty much okay. I mean.. everyone bothers me too but for now.. those two are the only ones big enough to bother me. As for the Junior class meeting today.. chaos. It's so awful. I thought chairmen were in charge of certain organizations that they were chairmen of? Correct me if I'm wrong, but that was my impression. So yeah. I understand my attitude of wanting to be in charge all the time.. but it's really not cool when I'm the one doing all the work and everyone is making decisions about it for me? Yeah. I don't have all the power. Nor do I want it. But it would at least be nice to stand up and inform people of what I have gotten done so that they know.. without being told to sit down. Whatever.. I don't really care anymore. I'm to the point where I'm gonna stop coming to meetings all together because I feel like once again, people are pushing me around. There's no point. I don't need to put any input in since everyone else has it under control. It's only more stress for myself anyway. Usually I would stand up for myself in situations like that but the honest truth is that I feel that I have no one left. Yeah.. don't leave me crap saying you are. If you are, I know it. Don't tell me. If you're not and think you are.. I don't know what to tell you. If you were there for me, and I think you are.. then you would feel like I was including you in my life. If not.. it's not my fault. Anyway.. with Devin (once again my twin) there, I feel that if I ever spoke up to anybody.. everybody would be against me and I would be overruled. I feel like everybody, and I mean mostly everybody just pushes me around and tells me what to do and whatnot. I dunno if it's cause I'm younger or they don't consider me a friend or whatnot.. but I know I don't feel like I belong anywhere at school. Which doesn't bother me, I'm not gonna be all whiny about not fitting in cause that's not what it's about. It's about me being able to communicate with my "friends" and feeling like I am loved and they need me. Because right now.. everyone is doing a pretty crappy job of it. I guess you don't need me. If you did.. this wouldn't be an issue. *sigh* Life is so awful right now. I just want to crawl in a hole and die. And sometimes I think that no one would even notice, much less care.

My horoscope yesterday.

2004-11-02T15:36:00.000-06:00

Your Monday Horoscope, Diana!A hectic day of misunderstandings that you cannot make sense of is in store. Where did things go wrong? The problems can be connected back to your ego and the assumptions you make about doing some tasks perfectly.

-------

That may explain some things. Heh. I don't really belive them but I thought it was kind of funny as well as ironic. Don't have much time to post.. I will later. Hm. Election Day.. FINALLY. Tomorrow or Thursday, it'll be all over. W00t.

Oh what a beautiful morning..

2004-11-01T19:50:00.000-06:00

Heh. My weekend was great. My MORNING was great. My day was awesome until 4th hour.. when it just started sucking. Big time. Mr. Stephen's class in general just sucks but something else made me mad. Umm.. my lunch was good. Then Spanish was so boring. You'd think that when a teacher wants to impress the principal, they would call on kid who KNOW the answer.. instead of calling on the stupid ones. Yo solemente dijo. That was spelled wrong. Yeah.. during 6th hour we (we being Me, Stephen, Truley, Valerie and Mrs. Gaston) went to the Myriad Botanical Gardens to check out the place. It's beautiful and a really good deal and yeah. I think we're doing it there, it's better than I would have ever dreamed of. Went to StuCo meeting. Wow. All I have to say.. is communication.After that.. we went to Truley's house to work on posters for every random thing possible. It was okay. Umm.. Truley wanted me to stay the night, but my mom wouldn't let me. Went home.. it was POURING. Then Stephen came back to my house cause it was raining so hard he couldn't see. I think he was here for an hour.. not sure. We worked on the shirt.. found an example and also created one. It was fun. I totally love the idea. Which... I'm not telling yet. Blah. As for everything else.. I'm still really.. I don't know. I'm not in a typing mood. Basically.. since two of my best friends have left.. I honestly feel like.. I don't FIT IN with anyone at school. Not that I need to. But like.. no offense, you guys are still all my friends and I still love you to death.. but like.. I realize that everyone is so different now. It's like everyone's life has changed and I'm not involved. Sure.. I go places with you. Pft. Like that helps ANYTHING. Truley is DAPHNE's best friend. That's never going to change. And Stephen.. is still cool but we have been arguing and he's starting to drive me crazy. He was okay when he was over here though. I hate fighting with people. As for like.. Valerie.. god. I love her to death, but we just don't get along and sometimes.. she annoys the crap out of me. I can't stand some people sometimes. Just.. everyone.. has been getting on my last nerve and I hate it. I hate that I can't be around them.. and it seems like none of them really care to be around me. Otherwise they would have made an offer. Everyone is all .. different. Like I'm so different from everybody. I think so different. I'm NEVER all hyper and giggly like the girls so when they are like that.. it drives me crazy. And other people are bossy and.. controlling, and that's one of the things I hate the most. I can't be around people who treat me like their junior and order me around or even worse.. belittle me. I absolutely HATE being made fun of.. I mean yeah, there are times when it's obviously a joke. But.. ugh. I just.. hate people right now. It's so crazy. I think I'm just USED to having someone that's exactly like me. And I miss it. Cause there's no one here that is. Well I take that back. Kacy is.. but I have 2 classes and lunch with her so it kind of sucks. *sigh* So yeah. Summary, I hate school, I hate people. People are treating me like crap and I'm whining about it. And I'm sure I will piss someone off and they will call me a bitch. Cause apparently that's what I am. I'm a whiny bitch who annoys everyone. Geez. That gets so old.

There are times to let it go..

2004-10-31T15:38:00.000-06:00

Mmkays. So.. I'm gonna kill something because Melo HATES me and refuses to let me enter into the beautiful world of Beta. I go to the Beta Auth website, log in.. it tells me I'm Beta Cool. Then I go the the actual Melo website, and it tells me I'm NOT Beta Cool. To quote Becky, wtf mate? *sigh* How depressing. But on to other things.. my incredibly good weekend/past couple of days has continued on today. Even IF I had to get up at like.. 6 this morning. You see.. we were babysitting my cousin, and he woke up and cried and wouldn't go back to sleep so yeah. Then we went out to eat with my aunt and uncle. They went to see Shall We Dance. I wanted to go but since I've done nothing this weekend except my plays and rehearsals and whatnot, I have some homework to catch up on. Gr. Michael and George stopped by my house. They wanted me to go to the mall with them and Katlin. I was like.. sorry. I didn't really want to go unless Daphne was there. And not that I don't want to hang out with Dap, but I most likely wouldn't have gone anyway. Umm.. the baby is adorable. Brandon. Hee. It makes me feel so old though. I remember posting about this before.. but I'll talk about it again. Geez, when that kid turns 16 I'll be 30. Yes.. that's right. 30. Crazy. And I'm younger than most of you guys so.. hah. So now, I'm sitting at home. On the computer. NOT doing homework.. shame shame. But I found out that all I have is one paragraph I believe. So goody goody. I'm listening to WWE and waiting for my lovely to get online. Or come back. Haha my lovely. He's not mine yet. But eh.. whatever. Defy makes me so happy. Brings back so many lovely memories.. I wish they would play this stuff more often but they don't. Shut up guys, I know you hate it. I don't really care. I don't think there is anything else I could possibly talk about so I'm off to start on my paper.

<3

[[ If I wrote you a letter, would you reply? ]]

PS- I'm totally in love with Xanga still. I think I may quit Blogger.. because.. I don't know, I'm just in love with Xanga. No way in hell would I quit Melo.. I love Melo. People comment and like me there. Geez.

Life.. is great.

2004-10-31T01:41:00.000-06:00

NOTE: There was a post preceeding this one.. that I would post in here but I can't since Melo won't let me in.. but I will eventually.

Ah.. I have had absolutely NO time to post at all. Plus yesterday when I tried to, Melo was down. Geez. So yeah, on Thursday, I didn't get home from rehearsal till 11:30. It was funnn. And then Friday we had a show.. that kind of sucked. Opening nights are usually pretty bad. The two shows today were amazingly good though. Not too shabby. Umm.. Kacy stayed the night last night.. we talked so much. I heart my Kacy so much, I would die without her. *Diana falls over and has a heart attack and dies* Kacy, you are the ONLY one that knows why I just did that. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHh. Okay. Sorry, I'll try to hold in my freaking out-ness. We woke up at nine this morning.. and also watched the Bedlam game. Of course Michelle is a bitch and scheduled a show on Bedlam day DURING the game so.. we left after half time. I brought my CD/Radio dealy so that I could listen to the game. What can I say? I'm a hardcore fan. We won the game, 38-35. OU effing rocks my life. LOL. *sigh* And now my shows are over and I'm almost sad. It definitley went by wayy too quickly. But the good thing is.. Cool Yule schtuff starts Tuesday. So I'm getting right back into drama. It's beautiful, I love it, and Michelel has been nice lately. My life is so wonderful right now. You guys have no idea. All the crap about me being mad at everyone at school, basically still stands.. but being away from all that.. and surrounding myself with different people is so amazing. I haven't even had time to think about anything else. And right now, my life has just gotten a tad bit better. I'm sure it will all dissapear on Monday when I must face the hellhole we like to call school. But for now.. I'm floating.

I got this in an e-mail. But like.. I thought it was great, and we've all seen it before, yet like.. half those things have happened to me within the past couple of days so I'm ecstatic. The ones that apply to me have stars next to them.

1. Falling in love.
*2. Laughing so hard your face hurts.
*3. A hot shower.
4. No lines at the supermarket.
*5. A special glance.
6. Getting mail.
7. Taking a drive on a pretty road.
*8. Hearing your favorite song on the radio.
9. Lying in bed listening to the rain outside.
10. Hot towels fresh out of the dryer.
11. Chocolate milkshake. (or vanilla or strawberry)
12. A bubble bath.
*13. Giggling.
*14. A good conversation.
15. The beach.
16. Finding a 20 dollar bill in your coat from last winter.
*17. Laughing at yourself.
*18. Holding a newborn baby
*19. Midnight phone calls that last for hours.
20. Running through sprinklers.
*21. Laughing for absolutely no reason at all.
*22. Having someone tell you that you're beautiful.
*23. Laughing at an inside joke.
*24. Friends.
25. Accidentally overhearing someone say something nice about you.
26. Waking up and realizing you still have a few hours left to sleep.
27. Your first kiss (either the very first or with a new partner).
*28. Making new friends or spending time with old ones.
29. Playing with a new puppy.
*30. Having someone play with your hair.
*31. Sweet dreams.
32. Hot chocolate.
33. Road trips with friends.
34. Swinging on swings.
35. Making eye contact with a cute stranger.
36. Making chocolate chip cookies.
37. Having your friends send you homemade cookies.
*38. Holding hands with someone you care about.
*39. Running into an old friend and realizing that some things (good or bad) never change.
40. Watching the expression on someone's face as they open a much desired present from you.
41. Watching the sunrise.
*42. Getting out of bed every morning and being grateful for another beautiful day.
*43. Knowing that somebody misses you.
*44. Getting a hug from someone you care about deeply.
*45. Knowing you've done the right thing, no matter what other people think.

Eff.

2004-10-12T18:04:00.000-05:00

So.. I've found an addiction to Xanga. I really like it. Of course I like my Blog too but I just changed the layout to my Xanga and I'm totally digging it. I may be posting there as well so you can visit me wherever. The link is: http://www.xanga.com/AnorexicSwan Hummmmm. You have to have an account to comment though, FYI. Have a good one kiddos.

Grrr.

2004-10-11T17:05:00.000-05:00

Well.. I ditched school today. Haha not really. I stayed the night at Truley's last night.. we stayed up late. Like laate. 3:30.. we went to bed at 2. Heh, it's really not that late but we were up late. lol. I dunno if that makes any sense, I don't really care. Hmm. Then we got up at 6 to finish homework, I took a shower.. felt horrid, so I called my mom and went home. Slept until around12:30 when Stephen called me. Talked to him and Kacy for a little bit, went back to sleep. Woke up, ate, watched Selena.. (good movie), watched Gilmore girls.. and now I'm on the computer. Stephen just dropped by to bring me homework. Yay. Thanks so much Stephen. He told me I looked dead. *sigh* I told him to shut up, and that I was hot. lol. But yeah, he brought me our Biology books.. which we have, THANK GOD. And kindaly informed me that we have a test tomorrow so now I have to slave over Chapter 7 to make sure that I don't fail. *sigh* I feel better though. Sorta. Well.. off to hit the books.

dances around in circles

2004-10-09T14:28:00.000-05:00

WE WON!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YES. I knew we would. Hummers. And Devin is coming over after the OSU - Colorado game. And we're going to the WWE show tonight. Fun fun fun. I hope Cal State looses to USC. I want OU to be #1. Hehe. Well this isn't going to be a very long post.. back to the games.

Football is my life. At least it will be tomorrow

2004-10-08T23:06:00.000-05:00

GO OU SOONERS!

Okay.. so tomorrow is the BIIGG game! Boom chicka ow baby. OU against TEXAS. Beat Texas.. and the steer they rode in on. I have become the BIGGEST OU fan since I went to that game. Woo baby. Goood times. I just made an OU bracelet. The game should be GREAT. Humm. Went to a McGuiness game tonight. So many people were there.. oh my. It was crazy. Me, Truley, Daph, Stephen, Michael, Alicia, Valerie, Marissa, Cody, Caroline, Hannah, and Sam. And I saw a bazillion people I knew there. Like of course Mark, Joe, Nick, Martin, Johnny, Kristin, and Becky. And then I saw Connor, and Maggie, and Caitlin, and agh. Oh! And Chad Neighbors. CRAZY how many people I knew there. Lalala. Hopefully Devin can come over tomorrow.. we're going to make OU shirts. Because I'm too lazy to go buy one.. and it'll be cooler if we make them. Well that's all I can ramble on about.. I haven't had a long enough attention span to blog really long lately so that's about it my friend. Goodnight, kiddos. Have a good one. And make sure you watch the game tomorrow. And cheer for OU. Have sweet, crimson and cream dreams.

There's a strange exhilaration..

2004-10-07T17:07:00.000-05:00

Wow, I haven't posted in a couple days. Haven't had too much time really. Er.. not too much going on here. For the past two days, we've been worrying over this new shipment of laptops we got. Erm.. it was fun, last night we stayed till 9. Good times. Gah. Tomorrow is picture day! Yay. I'm not really THAT excited.. but I get to get all dolled up and Diana-ish so it should be amusing. Had a junior class meeting today. We picked out our class rings and planned and such. Wheeeee. We're starting to plan prom. I know it's late.. but oh well. It's gonna be so much fun! Fun fun fun. I WANT ________ hmm. Someone tell me what I want. I know.. but do you?

World Without End

2004-10-03T21:04:00.000-05:00

Once again.. they have succeeded in blowing my socks off. Haha. That's such a ghey expression.. anyway. Went to their show at Rosary today.. whoo baby. Good times. Right now I'm workin on my English paragraph. That I have barely started.. but oh trust me, I have tried. I've had writer's block all weekend so I'm trying to do it now and it isn't coming to me too easily. *sigh* Oh well. Better get back to it though. It was great to see the guys today.. I do miss them, I do.

------

UGHHHHHHHHHHHHH. My mom is being such a bitch. I swear. I hate her so much sometimes. Freakin A. Only 2 years to go.

I can take you away from here

2004-10-02T19:59:00.000-05:00

Gawd. It's amazing how fast a good mood can diminish. All it took for me was one song. And I know that I've posted about this before.. but it was like a looonnngg time ago. Freakin A though. This is gonna be depressing. So yeah. My point is.. it's crazy how one song, can bring back so many memories for me. I read Truley's blog and that kind of did it too.. but I dunno. Songs have so many emotional attachments. Just one line and I'm sucked back in. It's like I've hopped into a time machine, and traveled back to that exact moment and time. Sometimes they're good memories and sometime they're bad. This one wasn't exactly a depressing but I dunno. I guess I've grown so much. Even two months can change you so much. Heh. ONE DAY can. And sometimes its good, sometimes its not. I hate wanting to go back in time, and in this case, it's kind of a nostalgia (whoo, vocab word, brownie points for me) that I hate. That point in time, I was so clouded and different.. but I miss it so much. Life was different. I want to say simpler, but that's not what it is. *sigh* I miss the way things used to be too. I miss it so bad. When we were all close friends, and we all just had fun. No complicated emotions.. sure there were some that followed soon.. but I hate not being close to my best friends anymore. Sure, I say I change single best friends every year.. which is true. Everyone does it. Or at least everyone has one single person. But I will ALWAYS have my group. My 'clique' if you will. And I miss it so bad. I miss not being lonely. I miss.. having that sense of support and carelessness. Sure, we're all still friends.. and there's support.. but it's no longer a group thing. We've all grown apart, and I hate it. Now everyone is just interested in something else. I guess good things really don't last forever. Seriously. I miss things the way they were so bad. And what sucks even more, is when you look at all of your friends and realize, except for some, that either they don't miss it as much as you.. or they can't express it. Which is just as bad. I think about the way things were last year, and in 9th grade, and in 8th grade.. and look at us now, and I want to cry. Yeah.. okay.. listening to Martina McBride isn't the best idea ever. Oops, it just happened to play. She signed it, I hope that you'll miss me.. Heh. That's a bad feeling. Feeling that none of your friends miss you. Ah I keep saying this but I miss it so much. I don't know how anybody can relate, but I'm sure that some of you understand. It's not fair.. that people change. It's not fair at all. And life isn't fair. I guess I have trouble dealing with the fact that one day, we won't be friends anymore. Heh. Some of us now aren't friends.

I'm a nut.

2004-10-02T19:26:00.000-05:00

Hmm. Okay, so I went to Guitar Center with Nolan earlier.. man it was so much fun. I was like.. gawking in awe of the giant wall of guitars. Heehe. I'd never been there. There was a salesguy that thought we were going out.. he was like "So how long have you two been married?" *sigh* Good times. Lalala. Then I came home. And did some homework. I'm really engergetic right now.. it's CRAZY. I am in such a good mood you kids have NO idea. It was cold.. and my house smells like it does when it's cold outside.. and it reminded me of winter.. and I realized winter is coming. Which means Christmas is coming.. and Christmas is my all time favorite holiday. Like woah man. Anyway. Then I started singing some Christmas carols and couldn't remember some words so I went looking for Christmas piano book which led me to finding my old piano books. I sat down and played those.. and oh my gosh it felt soo good. **side note: this is coming to me very quickly and I'm typing quickly and if I were saying it.. it'd be one big sentence.. never ending.** I haven't played piano in FOREVER. *sigh* And now I'm in a really really really good, musical mood. It's amazing. I'm so excited about Christmas. I'm talking to Nolan and he's like.. It's October you NUT. I'm not nutty. Of course not. Me? Never.

Movies.

2004-10-01T23:51:00.000-05:00

Got back from the movies about an hour or so ago. We went to the meeting at school about the trip to Germany, and then Stephen, Marissa, and I went to go see Shark Tale. Man it was so much fun. We saw Tracy workin there. I'm so proud of my darling daughter. Then we went and dropped Marissa off and I got to go see her house and room. It's real pretty. When I got home.. I laid down for a bit.. got on the phone. I got like CRAZY lightheaded and weak.. so I ate like.. 10 pieces of chocolate, then just ate half a package of tuna. Now I just feel WEIRD. Freakin A. I had so much fun. My phone conversation was hilarious. Mmkays. Well.. goodnight darling readers of mine that don't comment.

Why Should I Care?

2004-10-01T17:25:00.000-05:00

Duude. I just cleaned my room. Not like.. clean like I usually do.. but like REALLY clean. It's amazing how gross it was. Dusty and.. blagh. At least I'm done... whoo. I feel accomplished. I was gonna go to Travis' but it turns out they were only going for like 2 hours.. and plus I have this meeting for the Germany trip so I decided that I would just stay home. I think I'll be okay. Hmm. Not only have I been cleaning my house, but I've also been cleaning my computer. Man. It's driving me CRAZY. My computer should not be running this slow.. I need an external harddrive. Or better yet, a new fucking computer. But I don't think that's gonna happen. I know we are getting an external harddrive and we probably will get Cox internet in December.. so hopefully then I can wipe my harddrive and some other crap. I hate it.. I really do. I need to download Ad-Aware.. but I can't. It hates me. And Stephen gave me a bunch of CDs but he didn't label them. Fucker. Hehe. I wish people would.. grr... Well back to... I dunno what I was doing earlier. My head hurts.. I need an Advil.

Showers are good for the soul too

2004-10-01T11:47:00.000-05:00

Haha. As well as sleep and a bunch of other crap. I feel lots better today.. just took a shower. I'm going to Travis' today I think. Not completely suurree. Well.. I'll post later. I'm in a good mood, not a blogging one. I have nothing to say anyway.

Sigh.

2004-09-30T21:20:00.000-05:00

Hmm. I had a really good day today and now I'm starting to get really PMS-y. It kinda sucks. The debate was half an hour shorter thatn I expected it to be. The first hour was interesting, and I kinda lost interest the second half. I wrote down every question that was asked.. and I took a bunch of notes. I'm proud of myself. Man.. I'm under so much stress.. holy crap. I'm breaking out bad right now.. grrrrr. Dude. I'm so PMS-y. I'm like a REALLY EFFING BIG ego-maniac. GAH. I like.. HAVE to have all the attention and it drives me insane when I don't. We had junior class officer elections. I didn't win of course. Grrr. I just don't think that somebody that is VICE PRESIDENT in Student Council should be able to run for Junior Class officers but WHATEVER. I'm sick of bitchin about it. It's over with, she'll make a good president.. whatever. We don't always get along anyway. At least not all the time. Blechh. I'm just really really really really bitchy today. Don't you just love being a girl? It sucks. ANYWAY. Ugh my mother is being really bitchy. I just don't want to deal with ANYBODY today. Sheesh. Talking to Nolan helped.. hmm. Don't you hate it though when you're like talking to somebody and all they talk about is someone else? Pshhhhh. It doesn't really bother me that much. You all know how I get when I get hormonal-y. I feel unappreciated and unloved and whatnot. Fuck it. GRRRR. I think I will be up all night tonight. *siiiiiggghh* Somebody save me from this nightmare. Life is a hellhole that we are all burning in. Diiiieeeee.

Boys will always be boys..

2004-09-30T14:50:00.000-05:00

Apparently. Blehhhhhhhh. Yay! We got out at one o clock today. Had a meeting with Stephens... ugh. That didn't go too well. He doesn't give a crap whether or not we pass. Freakin LIAR. I'd say more about him but I don't want to create any evidence that can be used against me. So I stayed the night with Truley last night, that was so much fun.. we had an awesome time. And right now I'm over at Nolan's. Travis is here too and they're playing Gauntlet Legends. It's REALLY funny watching them.. they are so vocal when they play.. every two seconds I hear "AHH!" or "Ouch! That hurt" Mann.. blerg. I'm saying a lot of funny stuff today. Well I'll be back later.

--

UPDATE

I forgot to mention that Travis is running around like an idiot, playing the drums and screaming ~~fuck~~ every two seconds. He's conviced that he's gonna be famous.

I'm sick of writing every song.. about you.

2004-09-28T16:16:00.000-05:00

Good song right thurr man. Pshh. Anyway. I got home from school and immediately started doing homework. That was the weirdest thing ever. Heh. We had English, so I looked up all the definitions.. I haven't done the sentences yet.. but I'm thinkin that's ACTS homework. Then I did a couple of problems in Math.. but I'm not sure if I get the rest of it so I'm gonna ask Kacy to help me laters. Which makes me think I should do my English now. Haha. And then for Government, I just printed out the article and will be reading that and rereading it during ACTS, the rest of the day.. and tomorrow morning as well. I feel responsible.. this is weird. Haha. And as for Biology, screw it. I can do that when I get home or this weekend since we have a 3 and a half day weekend.. which I happen to be EXTREMELY excited about. Well.. I'm gonna go now. Buh-byes.

[[ Trying to get myself in a better mood. IE.. trying to talk to you know who. ]]

I just got a new sn.

2004-09-27T21:42:00.000-05:00

It should be linked to my old sn so if you IM me there I'll give you the new one. Hehe. So much for doing homework tonight. Oh well, there wasn't anything but I DO need to read. I shall do that later. Ooohhhhhh. I'm blushing guys. I'll tell some of you why later. I forgot what I was gonna write.. I'll have to come back and post later when I'm not giggling like crazy.

Shopping is a girl's best friend..

2004-09-26T18:41:00.000-05:00

Phew. Just got home man.. I'm TIIIUUURRRRD. Around 2:30 today my mother and I went out to eat lunch. Then I talked to her into going to the mall for a little bit since I needed more jeans. I had NO pants.. except one pair of jeans that fit me. And of course my black and khaki pants for school but anyway. ONE PAIR. So I made my mother take me shopping. I ended up getting 2 pairs of jeans and a pair of pink courderoy pants. Hehe. So now I have a total of four pants that fit. Heh. I feel so fat. I also got a black and pink shirt that says "This girl is anything but ordinary". *sigh* I'm pooped. After that we went to Wal-Mart and came home. I went through my dresser, closet and cabinet in the hallway deal to clean them out. Yes that's right, I have THREE things that hold my clothes. I've always been a clothes person.. I have a lot. Except none of them fit. haha. Well now everything in there does. I cleaned out 4 piles of clothes. 2 for Alyssia and 2 for maybe like a shelter or goodwill store. Let's just say I cleaned out enough clothing to clothe a family of 12 girls. Wahoo. I was gonna go to Nolan's today but my mom was being a biatch. And plus since I got home @ 6 I have the rest of my homework to do. I haven't done ANY this weekend. Let's just say that I'm SCREWED. My English I worked a little bit on this morning. It should only take about a half an hour.. and as for me Biology.. I don't even wanna go there. But I'm in a good mood. Did I mention I got a new Linkin Park t-shirt and purse on Friday? Hehe. I've been shopping muchos lately. I also have 40 dollars worth of t-shirts that I want. A Matchbook and The Used one. I also want The Used CD that comes out on TUESDAY!! So that's 60. I better get to working. I'm gonna go now though. Au revoir dahlins.

OMFG.

2004-09-26T01:01:00.000-05:00

Okay. I swear I just had the BEST night I've had in a really freakin long time. Today around 6, Kayla picked me up, and we went and picked up Kacy. Haha. We were rockin out to HANSON on the way there. I'd never listened to Hanson before. I felt left out cause Kacy and Kayla were like.. singing every word. Anyway.. then we got to the fair.. met up with Nolan, met up with Louie and Skyler.. and then went carousing. Rode a couple of rides.. met Jeffrey and such. We had a really good time. Umm I'll go into more detail later about what all we did cause right now I only have time to do a quick overview. We got free food. <-- Hehe thanks Kace. Then, sadly, the boys had to leave. And Kacy that is. Nolan, Louie, Skyler and Kacy left awround 10:30-11:00.. and then it was me, Kayla and Bryan. All the people that left gave us their tickets and like Kayla bought 30 more for 10 bucks. Heh. We spent an hour riding some more rides then we had to go. I had like.. 45 tickets left and Kayla had 35. We went around and looked for people to sell them too. I sold my 40 for 20 bucks. Man.. I made 20 bucks. Haha. Then me and Kayla walked around for an HOUR trying to get someone to buy her stinkin tickets. Sadly, no luck. We almost got in trouble for it too. We were so scared. Kayla ended up getting a total of 50 tickets so she wants to go up there tomorrow in the morning and try to sell those. But I have to go for now. I had an awesome time.. man. BEST NIGHT EVER. It was soo great. :-D I will post more laters..

I've been so hollow inside

2004-09-25T17:43:00.000-05:00

Sorry about all of my depressing lyrics. If you don't wanna read them, just scroll down to my real post..

I'm so tired of being here
Supressed by all my childish f*e*a*r*s
And if you have to leave
I wish that you would just leave
Cause your presence still lingers [[here]]
And it won't ~~leave me alone~~

These wounds won't seem to heal
This pain is just too ~r~e~a~l~
There's__just__too__much__that__/t/i/m/e/__cannot__erase

When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears
And I held your hand through all of these years
But you still have a l l o f m e

You used to captivate me by your resonating light
Now I'm bound by the life you left behind
Your face it haunts my once pleasant dreams
Your .v.o.i.c.e. it chased away all the {sanity} in me

I'm off to see the wizard FAIR.

2004-09-25T17:05:00.000-05:00

Yay! I get to go to the fair... with my lovely Kayla and Kacy. I hope Nolan gets to go, I haven't talked to him for about an hour or so now. Anyway, I'm real excited, I haven't been to the fair in about like.. two years. Should be really really fun. Duude. Life sucks like woah man. You think you know, but you have no idea..

I'm just a kid
And life is a nightmare
I'm just a kid
I know that its not fair
Nobody cares'
Cuz I'm alone and the worlds
Nobody wants to be alone in the world

I know some of you aren't as depressed or don't understand but it really irks me when people tell me that I'm depressed for no reason. You DON'T know me. I don't care if you think you do. Nobody understands.

3rd post tonight.

2004-09-24T23:01:00.000-05:00

Do you ever feel like breaking down?
Do you ever feel out of place?
Like somehow you just don't belong
And no one understands you?
Do you ever wanna run away?
Do you lock yourself in your room
With the radio on turned up so loud
That no one hears you screaming
No you don't know what it's like
When nothing feels alright
You don't know what it's like to be like me...

To be hurt, to feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
And no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like
Welcome to my life

Do you wanna be somebody else?
Are you sick of feeling so left out?
Are you desperate to find something more
Before your life is over?
Are you stuck inside a world you hate?
Are you sick of everyone around?
With the big fake smiles
And stupid lies
While deep inside your bleeding
No you don't know what it's like
When nothing feels alright
You don't know what it's like to be like me...

To be hurt, to feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
And no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like
Welcome to my life

No one ever lied straight to your face
No one ever stabbed you in the back
You might think I'm happy
But I'm not gonna be ok
Everybody always gave you what you wanted
You never had to work
It was always there
You don't know what it's like
What it's like

To be hurt, to feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
And no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like

To be hurt, to feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
And no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like
Welcome to my life
Welcome to my life
Welcome to my life

I'm a wishful thinker with the worst intentions

2004-09-24T22:07:00.000-05:00

I'm really really really feeling down right now. I guess some things will always trigger memories of the past for me. This is crazy.

A pictures worth a thousand words
But not worth the words I need to hear
I ..m.i.s.s.. you so much that it /h/u/r/t/s/
And tonight, I wish you were here with me
So I could make you see
The stars, they lay across the sky so perfectly
And they remind me of
All the times, when we used to sit underneath them, those summer nights
~~And fall in love~~

It's not alright, ~~it's our last night together~~
I won't give up, I can't let go, of you.
I can't l e t g o of you.

Good things won't last forever

2004-09-24T20:31:00.000-05:00

Hmm. So today we had a really good day at school. We only had a half day so most of our classes were 35 minutes long, it was so sweet. I got to eat lunch with Nolan for the first time this year, since we have different lunches. And I didn't eat, I stole his and Jaymes' french fries. Hmm. Then after school me, Stephen, Nolan and his dad went to this restaurant dealy called Nic's. Gawd, they have the best burgers EVER. They're freakin huge and sloppy and nasty with juice and crap dripping all over you but let me tell you, that is one hell of a burger. I'm definitley goin back there. Hmm. Then after school Stephen came over and we hung out at my house until 3:30 and we went to the mall. I ended up spending 30 dollars but don't tell my mom that. I spent 10 dollars on a Linkin Park shirt.. I was gonna get a Matchbook one for 20 but I figured my mom will buy that for me when we go clothes shopping. Then we went down to Pac Sun and I contemplated getting a purse or maybe wallet for about.. 20 minutes. I ended up getting the purse, and I'm really happy cause I really like it. lol. Then we went to OSSM. We walked around for like.. 15 minutes trying to find Otis. And I think Stephen just wanted a tour.. haha. *sigh* I hope he doesn't read this. Actually, I don't really care. I haven't been.. I dunno. Very happy when it comes to the subject of Otis lately. Don't worry, I don't or anything, it's just.. weird. Like we stopped being friends back in December and we've never been able to become close again. Maybe it's just me. Maybe I would be able to deal with this better if we had ever TALKED about it. But we never could. I could never could. And I regret it. Sort of.. I mean it's not really my fault that I couldn't talk to him. I guess.. I dunno. I know some of you know about my little hissy fit I had last night. I think that I hold people too high. I mean that sounds awful, but honestly, when I start value-ing ( I can't figure out how to spell it) people so much, I freaking always get let down. I get hurt by people way too easily. Hah, and nobody knows it. Anyway, I can't help it. My friends mean the WORLD to me. Loosing them would be the worst thing. And I suppose when people don't value me as much as I value them, I get hurt. And this happens all the time. Now I don't know if this is true or not, but I really don't feel like he misses us or even.. I dunno. I guess it's nothing to be upset about, not really anything we can do. If he doesn't consider me a friend, then it's fine with me. But I'm really NOT over him. I mean.. I am THAT way, but I'm not over being his friend. I miss him so much, I have since January. And because we never talked it out, never resolved anything, I feel like I have lost a friend.. and let me tell you, that is the worst feeling ever. It just kills me to think that he wouldn't miss us or anything. I swear, I about started crying like.. 4 times within the 2 hours we were there. I won't go into detail when, because that doesn't matter. I'm just really upset. I don't know why. I hate this. I don't think I'm gonna be able to visit him anymore. I mean I want to, I had a good time, and he said he wanted to see us, but I can't stand being depressed everytime I see him.

Woo baby.

2004-09-23T20:41:00.000-05:00

Okay, so now that that's all out of my system, I'm feeling better like woah. And I'm having some very interesting conversations. If you're lucky, I'll tell you about them. Night.

You'll probably think this is about you. But it's not. Or it might be. Who knows?

2004-09-23T18:04:00.000-05:00

*screams and beats the phone with a hammer* That's pretty violent isn't it? Hah. Funny. I really need to get a punching bag or something. Today really really really really sucked. Maybe not like THAT much.. but seriously. I was in a super good mood too so that's kind of why I'm even more mad than I would have been. Right now, I'm blasting Box Car Racer. It's not hard enough. *sigh* I feel so mad, I feel so angry.. Anyway. So. Don't you hate people? I do. Some people just suck really bad at being friends. I hate to say it, but no matter how hard they try.. they just suck. Heh. I'm not really talking about anybody in particular.. well maybe one, but that person doesn't read this so it doesn't matter. I really thought this person was my friend. Heh, I guess it just never came back. It was there, and it got ruined. And now it's over completely. I'm going because I said I would. Right now, I could really freakin care less. And this should make me so upset, but honestly, I guess I expect way too much out of people to always be satisfied. I really should STOP expecting so much out of people. I keep thinking that since you know, I consider someone my friend, that they'll care about me back. Psh.. since when is that true? I guess some people don't value friendship as much as me. Friends to me, are my everything. Besides music. What do you do without friends? Seriously. I pity anybody that doesn't have friends because they must be miserable. And it seems like mine are dropping off like flies. But ya know what? It's okay. Because if they don't want to be friends with me, there's no reason to be friends with them.. so therefore, there's no point in wasting my time. I'm sick of making this speech. Seriously. Go back through my Melo.. OH WAIT YOU CAN'T ::bitter:: Well, when you can, go read my Melo. I'm so sick of TRYING to be friends with people. And I keep telling myself I'll stop. But I can't, cause I care about too many people. So that's it.. I'm lowering my standards. Don't think you can gain my trust that easily though. Heh. And as for some other people.. I really pity you. I'm sorry. Someone who is that heartless who doesn't care about anything but themselves and being "better" if you will.. deserves nothing and will never get it. You'll never have friends. EVER. I hope you spend a long lonely life. <-- Hah, don't worry it's not about you.

[ There's no such thing as gravity, life just sucks ]

sigh of relief

2004-09-22T21:39:00.000-05:00

I wasn't really in too good of a mood today. School always sucks. But hmm. Then I got home. Still felt like crap. Did homework for 3 hours.. still not done. Then me and Nolan decided to go to the mall and meet Louie. Hehe. And that's when it got fun.. lol. Those boys man, all I have to say is.. DORK. Fun though. I need to do that more often, maybe I'll become less depressed. Anyway, I got in trouble for it though. Not really, but I was supposed to be home a half an hour earlier than I got home.. so my mom's not speaking to me. No big deal. She'll get over it by tomorrow. haha. Well better go.. I have to go to bed soon. I'm tiuuurrred. I need my beauty sleep. Night, kiddos.

[ I'm gonna get in trouble for all of my text messaging this month ]

Is it worth it can you even hear me?

2004-09-20T19:59:00.000-05:00

Hah. I'm going on hiatus from dance for now.. I just really don't have the time for it. You guys.. it's amazing how much homework we have, seriously.. are our teachers trying to KILL us???

Anyway, I'm in a really super good mood today, I have been since yesterday. You all know why I was in a good mood yesterday and I guess it just carried over and I'm glad cause I haven't been in a good mood in a really long fuckin time. Been smiley and happy all day and it makes me giggle. *sigh* Such a dork I am. Been working on Biology. I just finished one assignment, which leaves me with like.. 25 and a half to go. Heh. I'm almost done with my second one and after I take a shower I'm hoping to get one more done. If I do this *interruption* OMG! Sorry I'm watching 7th Heaven and Lucy is pregnant and she's having a girl.. awwwwww. Anyway, If I keep this up all week I should be all caught up by Friday, hopefully. Although I'm sure he'll give us more so never mind. I'm still missing like.. 3 from last unit, and I failed a test today. It was so easy too, I swear.. I knew like all of it but a lot of the answers were really similar so it was hard. Blahhhhh. I have the BEST big brother ever man. Nolan went to Coit's and brought me a root beer. It's soo good, I haven't had a rootbeer in ages. Yay. Well.. better get back to the homework and upgrading my AIM. Haha. Goodnight, kiddos. Sleep tight.

The best night EVER.

2004-09-19T20:48:00.000-05:00

Oh my freaking gosh. Nolan's partay was today. Dev came over last night at like.. 11 and then we got up at like, 10. We got ready in an hour.. isn't that amzing?? I took a shower, blowdried my hair, and curled it, and got dressed, and did my makeup all in one hour. Woo. That's a record. Then we went to Nolan's at 11, then we left for his mommy's house at like.. 1? I don't what time we got there.. but me and Devin went exploring. Hehe. We climbed a tree and went walking. Then around 3:30 or something like that we went into their band room dealy-whopper and listened to Russell, Nolan, Louie, Cody, Skyler........ and I think that's it. Anyway, we listened to them jam till like 7. It was sooo much fun. Like woah. Yeah. I would go into more detail but I have too much energy to sit here and type a whole bunch. I will laters though.

PS- Devin: *giggles* I'm so silly. Stupid me.

Listening to the sweet serenade of the electric guitar..

2004-09-18T22:36:00.000-05:00

I am having wayy too much fun tonight. Went to Nolan's earlier, I love him dearly. He bought me a Milky Way Midnight.. my favorite candy bar, some Pop Rocks, and a whole bag full of Reese's Peanut Butter Cups. Yum. And we had fun. lol. Devin's coming over. I'm making fun of someone online.. oops. Hmm. Read The Notebook in 2 hours yesterday. I cried throughout that entire book. The BEST BOOK EVER. Really sappy and leaves you with swollen eyes and a half a box of tissues, longing for some chocolate. My kind of book. And the sequel, The Wedding, was also really really good. Not as good but still worth reading. I finished both books (not continuously) but in about a total of 5 hours. Maybe 4. I'm a fast reader when I'm actually interested. So.. does anybody like the new skin? I thought it was really pretty. And I spruced it up some. I love my white and pink and all but it was wayy too bright and summery for Fall/Winter and my current mood most days now. Ahh. I'm gonna cry again, I keep thinking about that book. It's soo good. Man. *sigh* Better get back to the phone.

Pull the trigger and the nightmare stops

2004-09-16T22:27:00.000-05:00

So I thought I was over with my little emotional breakdown I had for a second then all of a sudden, this song comes on Disney, it's "Anytime You Need a Friend" by the Beu Sisters or whatnot.. and I just completley burst into tears. I'm losing it I really am. Heh. I will elaborate on it later, for now, I must head off to bed. Here are the lyrics:

When you're sad
When your feelin' low
When you're hurt, and don't know where to go
Think of me
An' There I'll be
Anytime you need a friend

When you're down
And your luck runs out
Or if you're in trouble or in doubt
It's okay
To Turn my way
Anytime you need a friend

(Chorus)
When you're scared, I will stay with you
When you feel you've fallen, I'm with you
When your heart breaks, I'll ease your aches
Whatever it takes, I'm in
Anytime you need a friend
La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la
La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la

All our lives
Anywhere we are (Anywhere we are)
Just reach out, I'll never be too far
Come what may
An' There I'll stay
Anytime you need a friend

(Chorus)
When you're scared, I will stay with you
When you feel you've fallen, I'm here for you
When your heart breaks, I'll ease your aches
Whatever it takes, I'm in (Whatever it takes)
Anytime you need a friend

Oh, oh, oh
When you need a friend
Come what may
There I'll stay
Now until the very end
Anytime, anytime you need a friend

La, la, la, la, la ,la, la
Anytime
La, la, la, la, la, la, la
Whatever it takes
La, la, la, la, la, la, la
AnytimeI'll be there
La, la, la, la, la, la, la
Anytime you need a friend

Eff You.

2004-09-16T21:09:00.000-05:00

I'm so incredulously pissed off right now. Hah. I don't think that incredulously means what I meant it to mean in that sentence. WEIRD. I just typed it in without paying attention. Anyway. School sucks really bad this year. The work is so hard. At least for me, who actually tries to do my homework. lalalla. AHHH. I really feel like writing out this long, drawn-out rant about how I feel right now but quite honestly, I don't feel like being put down anymore. Anything I say will be used against me in some derogatory form. And I really wouldn't care, but I'm under too much stress to have to deal with this anymore. But yeah. Don't you just hate people who always feel this need to be better than people? Oh. Excuse me. They don't. I suppose it's just me. I'M the one who needs to feel superior. I need to be better than everyone else. I am constantly making a scene to make myself look good. Sorry, I must have been mistaken. It could never be anyone else. I'm an attention hog. Heh, and normally I wouldn't do this.. but since I'm mad, I'm gonna be conceited and let it all out. You can disregard it. Why would I need to feel important? First of all. I'm a good student. Excellent student at that. I may have lacked a bit last year, but do remember that I have skipped TWO grades. I am doing work that's two years above me. And oh look, I'm still getting higher grades than 85% of my class. Does that make me need to feel superior? Hmm. I have amazing friends. At least most of the time. Jk. Honestly, they all are amazing, they make mistakes but who doesn't. I have a pretty decent life. I'm spoiled, I have a loving family. I'm not going to go as far as say I'm super attractive because I DO NOT judge myself on looks.. but I will go as far to say that I'm fairly attractive, or so I've been told. So. Does it seem to anybody here that I have ANY reason to feel superior? Because quite honestly, I have a very good life. This is me being positive by the way. Anyway. GOD. I'm just so pissed off I cannot type fast enough or even think fast enough to write down every single word or thought because it's impossible and I have this issue of expressing my feelings in a derogatory way but right now, I don't really care. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHh. *throws book across the room* Hmm. Oops, I probably shouldn't have done that. GARRRRRR. PEOPLE. WHY?!?!?!?! Why are people such jackasses and so close-minded that they are so unwilling to listen to any other person. Maybe someone else could be right every now and then? But no.. that would be complete and utter madness. Of course your highness. You're always right. Everything you do is right. The world is a puppet and you're pulling the strings. You control everything, you know exactly how everything goes. Everything is a comedy and should be taken lightly. You hate people. Heh. Riiiight. Can't wait till you hit the real world.

AFI rocks my world.

2004-09-14T18:06:00.000-05:00

You know what really pisses me off? I'm not exactly sure what it is or why it bothers me so much.. but like, people's need for superiority. I mean, sure I do it now and then but with some people, it's like.. blah blah blah all the time. It's soo irritating. Please people, come on. Do you REALLY need to feel that you're better than everyone else all the time? Do you really have that low of a self-esteem that you must constantly make comments about being higher than someone or proving that someone else is wrong? Sheesh. Get the fuck over it. You know what else bothers me? Hm, lots of things bother me. People who are ignorant to the fact that people put work into things. The fact that people can just sit there and damage other peoples work or effort and just laugh it off. It's ghey. There is no need. And in this situation, it's also referring to a feeling of superiority. *sigh* Life is so screwed. It's funny how something can be so stupid until you really know what's going on. Then it's less appealing isn't it? All I have to say, is watch out. I'm not as stupid as you think. You may have heard crap from other people, but none of them know me. Do not mess with me. You'll be sorry. Haha. Oops, got a little carried away. Don't worry about what it's about. Don't even ask me. Some of you may know what it's about or who it's concerning. I'm sure Dev can figure it out. I'm just saying it now. Seriously, if you're reading this, you know who you are. WATCH YOURSELF. Do not cross the line.

Hmmm

2004-09-10T21:22:00.000-05:00

I'm so madddd. But I don't want to talk about that. So many other things to worry about. Lalalala. Umm I don't have that much homework this weekend and I've already done part of it so sweet. Tomorrow, I'm going to an OU game. Yay Sooners. And then after that I'm goin to Dev's. Right now, I'm rockin out to Yellowcard. I need a new SCREENNAME. I'm bored of my AIM one right now. *sigh* Blah blah. I guess I had a lot more to talk about earlier. Man. I used some of Kayla's Warm Vanilla Sugar lotion this morning and I can still smell it on my arms. Mann.. strong stuff. I used to really not like the Vanilla smell but it's growing on me. I feel delicious. :p Anyway. I'm gonna go.

I'm breathing in your skin tonight
Quiet is my loudest cry
Wouldn't wanna wake the eyes that make me melt inside
And if it's healthier to leave you be
May a sickness come and -set-me-free-
Kill me while I still believe that you were meant for me

I'm finding my own words, my own little [[stage]]
My own epic d r a m a, my own scripted page
I'll send you the rough draft, I'll seal it with tears
Maybe you'll read it and I'll reappear
From the start it was shaky and the characters rash,
A nice setting for *h*e*a*r*t*a*c*h*e*where emotions come last
All I have deep inside, to overcome this desire
Are friendly intentions and fairweather .s.m.i.l.e.s.

I wanna scream, it makes me feel alive

2004-09-07T17:05:00.000-05:00

Okay. so yeah. Just thought I'd post here since I haven't in a while. I really want to change my blogskin.. yet I can't find one I like. Grrr. Devin stole the one I did. Hehe. She still needs to add a stinking CommentThis or Tagboard on her new blog.

I laugh myself to sleep, it's my, lullaby..

Sorry. Bursting into song. Anyway, grrr.rr.r..r...r. I'm so.. icky. Icky icky icky. I HAVE to go to Dev's this weekend. Hmmmmm. Weird how things change. And how people change.

I'm searching for the words, inside my head..

Ugh. I really need to break myself of that habit. Anyway, life sucks. School sucks. I have a bunch of homework I'm supposed to be doing. Yet for some reason I'm not. And for some reason, I'm BABYSITTING tonight. WTF? Oh well. It's only for like an hour. Hopefully.. I think I will bring my homework and make Mackenzie amuse herself tonight. I'm so tired. I've been so tired for so long. I get adequate sleep every night yet I find myself over exhausting myself each day at school. Both mentally and physically, and it's driving me crazy. Luckily, at school, I keep myself busy so there's no time to be depressed. I only get this way at home. When I'm listening to music, and staring out my window. Although today is a very nice. Maybe I'll drag Mackenzie outside. I LOVE the outdoors.. and when I stepped outside for lunch today, I about fainted. The smell.. is soo beautiful. I don't know what it is. Right now, the window is open and it's blowing in fresh air on me and that is enough to make me smile. This air lets my blood breathe. Haha. That makes sense to no one but me. I don't know if Devin feels the same about *this* particular air, but I know she gets the same feeling with air before rain.. so she knows what I'm talking about. I need to find some kind of emotional release that allows me to be outside. It sucks. Although my backyard is no longer infested with killer mosquitos so I think I may start doing my homework outthere. And drag a boombox out there. Man, how amazing would that be. Okay.. well I have a feeling this post is long enough so I shall leave you with that. This post has already made me feel a tiny bit better so my consensus for today is: Blogging is good for your soul.

Gah, save me from my homework..

2004-09-05T23:04:00.000-05:00

I have done so much homework. lol, Mr. Stephens assigned us 8 Biology assignments. I finished 2 of them during the week. I finished three more last night, and I'm working on one right now. So I have.. 2-3 more. I also finished my English homework today, and I copied my Trig notes into my Composition Book for Trig. *sigh* I still have 4 chapters of History to read but other than that and my Bio.. I'm almost done with homework!! Yay for me. *sigh* Well I'm gonna go. I need to get a new blogskin. I'm looking at bunch now. Be prepared for a change.

It's so much easier to run..

2004-09-03T23:53:00.000-05:00

I am.. so.. depressed right now. It's so incredible how emotionally drained I am. Like, I have completely lost any enthusiasm in my voice, and my stomach is killing me. I think I might have an ulcer, I'm not sure. Anyway. This crap.. is killing me. You all know my whole being alone thing.. and that enough is to destroy me but I'm having to deal wtih 4 fucking college level courses.. my best friend is gone. You don't understand, she is like.. my LIFELINE. And the friends I have left, I don't feel close to. I don't really want to go into deep detail about that because I don't want to piss anybody off like I always do.. and right now, if I have one more person yelling at me or anything, I am going to kill myself. I swear I will. Don't worry, this isn't a threat or anything.. but I'm just saying, I can't take very much more and who knows what will happen when I break. Wow. I've spent the whole night talking to people about how depressed I am and how depressed they are. *sigh* I'm just.. so.. DEPRESSED. God I hate that word. I went to Nolan's today, and we talked for like 5 hours. It's awesome. I love Nolan soo much, no one understands. It's nice to have someone who can relate so closely.. man. Ahhhh. Okay, I'm gonna go now... my MOTHER is being stupid. Au revoir.

My first day as a junior..

2004-08-30T21:01:00.000-05:00

Today wasn't all that bad. I kinda dreaded it.. and it kinda sucked. Surprising. I usually love going back to school. So.. first hour was AP US Gov. We went over everything, the syllabus, the supplies, the rules.. same in every class. Umm.. Mr. Coe is the same as usual. Next hour, PAP Trig. Mr. Gehringer is actuall cool. From what I saw of him last year I thought I would hate him. I think he'll be a good teacher. Third hour, AP Eng. Lit Mrs. Harris, the new English teacher. That room is still as cold as hell. At least Ms. Swagerty's.. uhm.. like.. spirit is still there. Mrs. Harris is suprisingly similar to her. Although she gave us a paper to write. HOMEWORK the first daty. How depressing. Now usually, this next hour would be my favorite, lunch. But nooo. We have to have 2nd lunch and have lunch AFTER 4th hour. Sucks ass. So then we went to AP Biology. We found out we won't have textbooks till October and the same stuff about how college courses were tough.. and the same stuff. Took 4 pages of notes. *sigh* Mr. Stephens is still the same. I got my Life-Span Portfolio back though. Uhm. Then went to lunch. That sucked. It started sinking in to all of us that so many of our friends weren't there. I about had a breakdown right there. Devin, Alicia, Otis, Jesse, Chelsea, Rachael. Man oh man. So the first 4 hours I was real hyper but after lunch, I was pretty much depressed. Spanish I was interesting.. the teachers amusing. Should be an interesting year. Then I had Comp. App. II whatever. Tech. It was boring. I wanted to switch but unfortunately all the classes I wanted to switch into were full. So I'll just stay. I can deal. Well, that was my day. Came home, did homework, ate. Talked to my dear best friend on the phone for about an hour. Man I love her. I hope she enjoys school. And sorry this post is so unenthusiastic. I'm pretty worn out right now. Didn't get much sleep last night, and I have a lot on my mind. Over and out kiddos.

So are we playing for keeps
These days begin and they don't end for weeks
Leave me left out of anything to do with you
Excuse me while I fall apart
Don't flatter yourself sweetheart
Let me take the wheel and I'll crash this car
Do you have to make this so hard

Somebody rip my heart out, and leave me here to bleed..

2004-08-23T00:00:00.000-05:00

Yo. Hehe, got back earlier from Stephen's house. Dev came over at about.. 4, and we left for Stephen's house. Then we went to the stables, turns out on weekends, it's 2 hours instead of 1 for 20 dollars. So we went in, paid, and the guy asked us about riding experience. Dev has ridden or well RODE for 2 years.. but English. Hehe.. and of course we were going to be riding Western. I've ridden before but I don't really have any experience. And Stephen has never ridden before. So he put Devin on this gorgeous dark bay.. it looked like an Arabian, she was purrty. I got a palimino, he almost looked like a quarter horse. And Stephen got.. a horse that they used for kids. :) The guy called him Dumpling. It was funny. So they took us out to by the lake and left us alone. That was when it got fun. :p Turns out, Stephen was the only one (scratch that, first one) who could get his horse to trot. Haha, but.. it was only because he kept hitting it with the end of rein. We had some stubborn horses though.. lol. They kept stopping to eat and wouldn't mind us. But we had soo much fun. I'm so glad we did that. I'm sure I won't be able to move tomorrow. Oh well. Then we went back to Stephen's house, ate dinner, and watched Paycheck. That is a very good movie. I like it a lot. okay, so now we're being stupid. just got out of the shower. Who knows what tonight brings. If we aren't tired, we may get on my roof. Mmkays. Lates, kiddos.

Shame on me

2004-08-20T11:20:00.000-05:00

Hehehe. I'm babysitting right now. I probably shouldn't be on the computer.. I don't have permission. But, it's okay.. I'm still watching him, and I'm getting off right away. Just thought I'd see if I actually could. Today has gone so much smoother, although I haven't posted about yesterday. I will tonight. I also get to leave early, she said they were just decorating class rooms so she'd be home around 2 or 3 as opposed to the usual 4:30. Yeah, I'm babysitting for the 7th grade English teacher at ASTEC. Dr. Deskin was her teacher when she was in 7th grade. Wow, long time ago. Well I better go.. I had to watch Pokemon earlier *twitch* Ah! I'm gonna get in so much trouble. Be back later! Lates, kiddos.

Every window pane is shattering..

2004-08-16T11:47:00.000-05:00

Haha. Go Yellowcard. Okay, so I have barely been on the computer the past couple of days. Most of you know by now that that is the result of the 2004 Olympic Games. *grins* I love this. One of the 3 or so sporting events I am actually interested in. It's usually the Olympics (Summer and Winter), and the Women's World Cup. Every now and then World Champions.. if I have time. Anyway, I will most likely be off the computer the next two weeks. I don't know which all events I want to watch and how long they will last.. but I'm hoping the USA starts to do better. So far we have one gold medal, from Michael Phelps in the 400 IM I believe. Not sure if it's 200 or 400.. I'll check later. Anyway. Michael Phelps is beautiful. I think he is anyway. I hope he wins tonight. 19.. hmm. I told my mom that he was only 5 years older than me and she started laughing. Hmm. Okay, well.. back to the games. Call if you need me. Or e-mail. I most likely won't be on IM too much. Maybe in the middle of the day. Most of my events are on in the morning and in the evening. Did you guys know that there's an Olympic swimmer that is 15? .. she just turned 15 June 3rd. She's not that much older than me, that's crazy. Okay. Byes.

Fun Stuff.

2004-08-14T15:41:00.000-05:00

Mmmmmmmmmm. Just got back from the mall with Devin. She came over last night. We had so much fun.. we watched the Olympic Opening Ceremony, which by the way, was really cool. Then we went to Blockbuster and rented The Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood and 13 Going On 30. I'd already seen Ya-ya. I have the book and Devin read it and liked it so she wanted to watch the movie. 13 Going 30 was pretty good too. Not the best movie but it was sweet. On the way home we got ice cream from Braums and also a bunch of Milk Duds from Blockbuster. When we got back, we ate dinner.. or something, and then popped in the movies. When we finished both movies it was around.. 3. I think. We talked till like 4:30.. but we had to get up early so we decided to go to bed. We got up at 9, showered and got dressed and got to the mall by 10. Scary, I know. We went shopping.. hehe. Fun. Okay, so at 11:30 we went to go get our movie tickets.. and there was something I wanted to see in Journey's ::cough cough a guy cough:: so we went back in there. We had already been in there like 6 times looking at shoes. I
think the people that worked there thought we were strange, but they were really cool and we talked to them. And so we went to our movie, we saw Little Black Book.. what an awesome movie. I love it! We had the whole theater to ourselves.. it was awesome. We were loud and silly and stupid.. as usual. We were both wishing that hopefully two guys would come it, but sadly,
they didn't. Oh well. After the movie, we walked outside, and there were these two really hot guys.. well only one was hot, but like.. we walked by them like 6 times.. and we also walked into Journey's again to say hi. They laughed. Devin and I have turned into PSYCHO STALKERS. And so maybe we're boy crazy, but it was so much fun. I have not laughed that hard in a long
time. You have no idea how long. Umm then we went and shopped more. We followed some more guys around.. and then we walked back to my house. So much fun. She just left.. and now I'm sitting here eating (duh) talking to people. In about an hour, I'm gonna get up and go get ready to go to a party tonight. Should be interesting. Shit. I should wrap his present.. will do.

Test post cause Melo is down..

2004-08-13T15:45:00.000-05:00

I was gonna post this on Melo. No point in me posting pics here, you all know what I look like.

Okay, so I don't think I've EVER posted pictures of myself on Melo.. so I found a couple and decided I would post them. Hehe.
Here's me.

Me:

Me again:

I kinda look pissed off:

My hair looks poofy..:

This one is weird.. I like it though:

Well I hope you guys like them!

I had the BEST time EVER..

2004-08-07T23:34:00.000-05:00

Haha so tonight was one of the best nights I've had in a long time. Truley's party was amazing. First of all, seeing everyone was great. Meeting Michael was cool. Hehe. I totally approve Daph, I love him.. he's awesome. Yeah. Lots of dancing. Looooooooooooottttttttttttsssssssssssss of dancing. ahh.. I hurt. And Truley loved her present. Lots of good food. Then a bunch of people left and then we got a little bit.. well.. dirty. Ah nothing bad.. just.. harmless fun. Ah I feel like.. I dunno kinda slutty. But I'm not. I swear. But just a little bit.. of er.. lap dancing and stuff. Ah! I feel so bad. hehe. it was all fun though. I think Truley and Amanda are in big trouble. Ah... scary stuff.

Rarg.

2004-07-29T22:57:00.000-05:00

I'm hissing. I hate her. I hate her guts. Duuuude. Bitch bitch bitch. I'm pissed off. Sorry. I just don't like her. I'm depressed. I hate guys. Oh goodie. Now I feel like crying. That's fun. God I hate acting this way because I hate other people that act this way. I'm being hypocritical. But like.. I hold in so many things until they just come pouring out in like a sea of mixed emotions. And it's more than I can handle sometimes. Actually.. it's usually more than I can handle all the time. I just don't know what to do with myself. I hate when this happens. ~~FUCK.~~ I don't know why I put myself through this I really don't. You'd think after a while I'd learn my lesson. I guess not. *sigh* Why the hell does this always happen to me? Am I ever going to be HAPPY? Is it that unreasonable, me wanting to be happy? Apparently so.

Farewell to Friends

2004-07-19T12:23:00.000-05:00

Okay.. well as some of you know, I shall be leaving for Florida tomorrow morning at the lovely 6 am. Heh. That means I have to be up at four o fucking clock. Haha. Yay! I should just stay up. You know what else I need to do? Pack. Well.. I have a bunch of clothes on my floor I just need to pack everything else and such.. bringing my CDs this time. I have to. I NEED to. Haha. Anyway, I'm kind of sad that I won't get to see everyone before I leave, but it's only for 8 days so you guys will live. Plus I'll get to see Stephen while I'm down there. That will be fun. I'm soo bored. Hmm. I'm glad I 'm taking this week away. Maybe it'll give me time to clear my head and think. And god knows we need that.. *sigh* Oh well. It's the story of my life.. being dissapointed.

Ah. Well I wrote this to say goodbye, lol, and ended up ranting about something else. So. If you need me anytime this next week.. just give me a call on my cell phone. I hope you all have fun, and I hope I have fun as well. It's hard to believe that my summer is almost over.. but I shall see some of you before then so it's all good. Love.

Dude, Blogger has changed..

2004-07-17T20:58:00.000-05:00

Wow. It's been so long since I've been on here... I have no use for Blogger since summer is boring and any post I make would be pointless. So I post on my Melo. Cause I need Karma. Yet it is down right now so I suppose I will post here.

Humm. So far, my summer has been pretty cool. I've been a couple of cool places. Jazz camp was awesome. Warped Tour was amazing. Falls Creek was awesome as well.. man oh man. And I leave on Tuesday for Florida! Whoop de doo.. hehe. Just got back earlier today from Daphne's party. It was one of the more fun parties I've been to lately. Yup. Lots of drama and stuff.. but I won't comment on that. What happened between me and Daphne is settled. And everything else.. heh. Well.. maybe I'll make a friends only post about that later. Although that would be in Melo so that means on Blogger it would be just another post. I don't really want to work myself up though. Right now, I'm already dealing with a lot of problems.. no need to over stress myself more than necessary. Erg. I just typed out a really long rant that I can't show anybody. Heh. Sorry. Anyway. It was really fun seeing everyone.. and talking to the guys and hanging out with Kayla and Holley. I'm so glad I'm getting to know Kayla better. Hehe! I love her. And Holley, I don't know why I used to be like weird about her. She's actually pretty cool. :) Umm.. I'm drawing a blank right now on what to post about. Heh. I'll be back later.

Haha Devin's quotes

2004-07-02T17:16:00.000-05:00

Diana: AH! None of my music programs are working!
Devin: Well, that's what happens. Life throws non-using music programs at you, and you make lemonade.

Hum. That girl is nuts. She's going to make me nuts. Haha now she's superglued her fingers together and can't get them apart. Hmm.. Scary. I want to post but I'm burning a CD right now and it's making my computer kinda slowish. I dunno. I will later though.

Re-reading old posts.

2004-07-01T19:19:00.000-05:00

Oh wow. Dev and I dedided it would be funny to go back and read all of our old journal posts and all of everyone else's old journal posts. Crazy. So much hate. Re reading everything makes me so angry again. But I'm trying to ignore it because it's in the past. What has happened happened. And we all need to move on. But my oh my. I have some really hurtful friends. No wonder I cried this past year more than I ever have in my whole life. *sigh* Moving on..

Melo.

2004-06-30T17:00:00.000-05:00

Wow, I'm starting to get so obsessed with Melo. My summer is boring so there isn't much to post in my blog about. Hmm. My karma raised 25 points though. Um.. last night, went to see Stepford Wives with Daphne. That is a great movie! It's so much funnier then it's suppsosed to be. Just because I have sick humor. Heh. We were going to go with Mark and Joe, but Mark couldn't go, and Joe didn't want to go by himself. Twas fun anyway. Dude, after the movie, some oooolllllddd black guy was like "Can I have your number?". Heh, I was like.. er.. no. It was scary, good thing my mom was already on the way and we live like a minute away. *sigh* My summer has been boring. Umm.. Devin is coming over for a couple of days. Whoo, fun. Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm. I leave for Falls Creek next week. Oh man, I'm soo excited about that. It's cuh-razy. I need to start packing. It will take me a while. Well, I'll be back to post more later!

Daphne..

2004-06-29T17:48:00.000-05:00

CUT HER HAIR. I should shoot her. But I can't, because it looks really good. Whoo! I'm the first person to see it. Anyway, yeah it looks really cute, we are going to the mall to see a movie in like.. 20 minutes.

Oh my wow.

2004-06-28T18:22:00.000-05:00

I saw some Converse boots at the Warped Tour.. I dunno if I'm just not seeing them, but that was the first time, and I totally fell in love. I'm trying to find them.. and I want a pair so badly! I think this may be the right pair..

http://www.zappos.com/n/p/dp/1099141/c/6583.html:

Oh yeah, and I got a new phone. My phone died after Warped, I think that it drowned. Anyway, it's a Nokia 3595. Color screen. A little bigger then my old one. I like it though.

Oh. My. Fucking. Freaking. God.

2004-06-27T17:13:00.000-05:00

AHHHHHHH!!!! The Warped Tour kicked. It just.. totally kicked. I don't know how else to explain it. Hmm.. I'll explain every detail of my past two days later, but wow. I'm kinda upset, something happened and made my oh so anticipated Warped Tour kinda bad, cause we had to leave early, but wow, I still had the best time ever there. So we got there.. at like.. 10:30. We get out of the car, and there is this long ass line. It wrapped 3/4 of the way around the block. But it was okay, we were soo pumped. Blah blah.. waited an hour and fifteen minutes before we got in, but it didn't really seem like that long. Haha. We went to the main stage, and listened to the band that was playing there. First was Lylah or Lytah or something like that. Haha, I can't remember. But I DO remember that they were really really good. I liked it a lot. Then we sat there for like 10 minutes listening to the next band, The God Awfuls. They were okay. After them was the Casualties. Or maybe, they were before. I can't remember. But they were pretty good. I was excited about seeing MY bands, and we didn't have a freakin program so we went looking for one, and found the other 3 stages we wanted to find. Umm, saw the TBS booth, went crazy. Bought myself a t-shirt. Heh. Kept walking, saw the official Warped Tour Mech. booth. Bought myself ANOTHER t-shirt. Hehe, I'm so proud of them. Well, right then, it started raining. Oh baby. You guys know how I love the rain. I got soo excited. Then we finally found this huge board in front of the two main stages that hand band times on it. Thankfully, I had not missed any yet. Umm so we went back to the covered stage because by then, we were cold, so we sat down and listened to bands for like an hour. Can't remember who all it was. Then at 1:30 we walked over to the Brian stage and saw Thursday. That was a great show. I got pictures! Whee! Then we stayed and listened to Bowling for Soup, New Found Glory, and The Sounds. By the way, I had never heard them before, and really really like them. It was a good show. Then we saw Yellowcard. Hmmm. Well. We got up to the fron early because I was super excited about Yellowcard. So we got pretty up there. And then Yellowcard came on.. whoo! And everybody in the fucking crowd started like pushing and stuff, it was actually fun. We were laughing and all excited. Then people started crowdsurfing. Even cooler. There were a bunch too. Umm I lost my balance from the crowd pushing for some reason hum I wonder why? lol. hmm. Then a guy landed on my head. And it was kinda funny because where I was standing there were a huge group of girls who all happened to not be on their feet either to we couldn't really help him. I tried. So we were just pushing him over, and this girl lands on top of him. Umm, that kinda didn't really work with a bunch of girls holding them up, they we kinda let them lay on top of us until they fell. I kept loosing my flip flops. Okay okay, there were a lot of people wearing flip flops and I wear them everywhere. Didn't think it would be a problem. It was. So when I lost them, Truley lost the walkie talkie we had with us, so she went down to get it. Bad idea. Heh, I tried to find my flip flops, and I kinda got pushed down. Almost got trampeled. I stood up, but Truley was still stuck under people. Not good. This really nice guy helped her out.. and so we decided to move back. I followed a huge group of hysterical girls, sobbing the whole way back. Yah know, at first I thought that this was all happening because we were up front by the mosh pit and yeah, which was fine. But it wasn't because I had to fight my way through EVERYBODY the WHOLE way back. So wasn't just up front. Umm stayed in the back listening to the rest of Yellowcard and waited to find Stephen and Truley. Yellowcard was awesome. I wanted to stay for Story of the Year and Taking Back Sunday, but I didn't have my shoes. So after we went back to look for them, and didn't find them. There were like at least 20 people walking around without shoes after that concert. So we lost two pairs of shoes and a walkie talkie. It was raining the whole time so the concrete was muddy and people would drop programs and they would disentigrate so the ground was covered in gray mush. Along with beer, trash, that fun stuff. The whole non-shoe thing pissed me off. And I wanted SOOOOOOOOOOOOoo freaking badly to stay. But we didn't because it would have been 4 hours and you guys know how I am about that kinda stuff. So we called Stephen's mom to come getus. While we were waiting, we did get to see the beginning of Coheed, that was an awesome show. And I think we got to listen to a little bit of Alkaline Trio, but not very much. But I was REALLY REALLY pissed because I had been looking forward to SoTY and TBS the most. I almost cried. Heh, but we figure we'd seen a couple a really great bands, and that it was all fun and worth it anyways, and that we'll see them in concert sooner or later. *sob*.. It's okay. I need to stop thinking about it or I'll get upset. It was probabaly better to leave when we did anyways. Hmm, then we went back to the hotel, got cleaned up, and went to the Hard Rock Cafe for dinner. That was so cool. Then this morning we went to the Galleria. I spent the remaining money I had. Got a cool shirt, and flip flops. Overall, this weekend was AWESOME. And even though I missed my two fav. bands, it's okay. Cause I had fun ANYWAYS. Hm.. yeah. Oh, and I tried calling Mark ten million times, he never picked up so we never saw them. Oh well. It's not like I'll never get to see them again or anything..

Oh wow babay. Jazz Choir and Warped Tour!!!!

2004-06-25T21:35:00.000-05:00

Okay, just got back from our Jazz Unwrapped performance. Wow.. it was awesome. Just in case you don't know or can't remember, I've been going this past week to a jazz camp. We practice all day, every day and then have a show at the end of the week. Well, today we were there literally all day. From.. 9am-9pm. We had a tech rehearsal, we sounded so good during that.. lol. From the past two days, my voice has been really shot. I overwork my throat all the time, so I always sound like crap. Anyway, so today was especially awful, but after drinking a hot cup of apple cider and lots of warming up, by tech rehearsal, I sounded normal again. But that was at like.. 2:30. Our show was at 7:30. By that time, my voice was back to being all croaky. I drank a hot cup of tea, (along with two cups at lunch and dinner) and it helped. But my voice was so awful, I didn't sing half of the songs.. lol. But nobody knows. *muahaha* Anyway.. it went really well. And I'm gonna do it again next year, and lol everybody better come.

AHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Tomorrow is the WARPED TOUR!!!! OMFG. I'm soooo freaking EXCITED!!! Bleh, lol Stephen is coming to pick me up at like 6:50 though. That's not fun. Haha, I still haven't packed.. I need to go do that. But yeah, we'll be gone until Sunday night around 5.. or so. Ahhh.. so excited. Well, I haven't much else to say. I'll update as soon as I can..

My favorist picture ever!

2004-06-23T21:45:00.000-05:00

Haha I took this pic with Caitlin's camera when we were at the boys' band practice.. I finally got it. It's so funny. Don't even ask..

OMG Daphne..

2004-06-23T21:15:00.000-05:00

Cr4zyK3rnD4wgs: i'm watching the others
xDarkBelladonnax: really?
xDarkBelladonnax: that movie scares me
Cr4zyK3rnD4wgs: yeah
Cr4zyK3rnD4wgs: lol it doesn't scare me...
xDarkBelladonnax: cool
xDarkBelladonnax: did you have fun at wal mart?
Cr4zyK3rnD4wgs: i guess...
Cr4zyK3rnD4wgs: lol
Cr4zyK3rnD4wgs: i saw a bunch of people i know
Cr4zyK3rnD4wgs: lol
Cr4zyK3rnD4wgs: it scares drew too
xDarkBelladonnax: who?
Cr4zyK3rnD4wgs: the others
Cr4zyK3rnD4wgs: what?
Cr4zyK3rnD4wgs: ohh
Cr4zyK3rnD4wgs: lol
Cr4zyK3rnD4wgs: i get it

Blog Skins and Surveys..

2004-06-23T20:40:00.000-05:00

Ooh, I actually like this one.. weird: http://www.blogskins.com/apply.php?sid=12674&action=Preview

I like the pic: http://www.blogskins.com/apply.php?sid=12690&action=Preview

I really like the pic but the blogskin sucks: http://www.blogskins.com/apply.php?sid=12596&action=Preview

Is this the same one I posted before?: http://www.blogskins.com/apply.php?sid=12641&action=Preview

Ooh niice, Caitlin or Becky might like this one: http://www.blogskins.com/apply.php?sid=12621&action=Preview

Cookie! I might use this one..: http://www.blogskins.com/apply.php?sid=12582&action=Preview

I don't know but I REALLY like this one: http://www.blogskins.com/apply.php?sid=12276&action=Preview

I like some stuff just not the layout: http://www.blogskins.com/apply.php?sid=11701&action=Preview

***

THE BASICS

Full Name? Diana Michelle N.
Age? 14
Town you live in? Oklahoma City
Town born in? Worchester, Massachusetts
Birthday? January 13
Nickname? Di, Di-banana, Di-manana, Di-manana-banana..

FAVORITES

Animal? Puppies!
Vehicle? Ooh that's hard. The Mercedes SL-600 maybe? V12 baby.
Color? Pink.
Kind of music? I listen to everything but currently rock.
Song? "Promise"- Matchbook Romance, or "Fall to Pieces" - Avril Lavigne
Band? Matchbook Romance.
Hangout? Um.. ?
Fruit? Oranges/Watermelons
Veggie? Errrrrrrr........
Spice? Garlic, or.. maybe oregano. I dunno. Or maybe..
Smell? The air just before it rains, or just after. And roses.
Guy cologne? Axe, Polo Sport, umm..
Girl perfume? Very Sexy from Victoria's Secret, Sheer Fresia from Bath and Body Works
Hobby? Dancing/Singing/Acting
Saying? Ooh, that's kinky.
Writing utensil? Eh...sharpened pencil, so I can either draw OR write!
Possession? My.. scrapbook or my teddybear, or my CDs.
Celebrity? Orlando Bloom. Or.. Johnny Depp. Or Colin Farrell.
Radio Station? 94.7
Place to eat? Chili's
Season? Spring.
Sport? Soccer.
Childhood memory? Too many..
Food? Oh my.. too many.
Book? See above two answers

RANDOM

If you could be any road sign what would you be? Danger! May cause internal combustion!
Do you like piercing on the opposite sex? Depends where.
What do you sleep in? (honesty is a must) Usually a tank top or shirt with boxers or PJ pants.
If you were a speed limit sign what would you be? Er, no speed limit.
What annoys you the most? Backstabbing, artifical people, people chewing with their mouths open.
Have you ever had a computer virus? YEsss..
Do you like the lights on or off in your house? On, I'm scurred of the dark.
Have you ever spit up food because of the taste? Haha YEAH.
Do you like your name? Yes, I was named after a princes, therefore I am a princess.
Favorite past time? Umm.. playing in the rain or staying up talking at night.
Do you make inappropriate noises in public? Haha sometimes.
If you could be with anybody for the rest of your life (celebrity or not) who would it be? Nobody I've met yet.
Would you rather live without a phone or computer? Without a phone.
Do you have any pets? Nopers.
Favorite cartoon character? Eeyore, or Pooh. Or maybe.. lol I'm obviously very indecisive.
If you were a bobble head what would you be? A ballet dancer.
What are your goals in life? to graduate college, graduate med school, get my ph.d, get married, and have children.
Favorite time of day? Dawn.
Favorite day of week? Saturday
Have you ever had surgery? No.
Do you rate your burps?? I don't burp.
Can money bring true happiness? No
What you bring on a deserted island? A phone or computer with wireless internet access.
And on this island would you rather bring your significant other or a porn star? My significant other.. pshh.. we can make

porn. Haha jk.
Which is most important: mind or body? Mind. Duh.
Do you think you'll ever find that special someone to spend the rest of your life with? Hopefully..
What are some characteristics that you feel is important in the opposite sex? A sense of humor, honesty, loyalty, and

kindness.
Which quality is most important? Honesty
Are you the gullible type? LOL omg yes.
Where do you think the best place is to meet people? Where ever I meet someone?
Do you believe at love at first site? Nope.
If you had a million dollars what would you do? Buy clothes, my car, a house..
Most embarrassing moment? Haha I don't have any embarassing moments. I'm such a klutz I'm used to it.
Most life altering experience? Ummmm..
Have you ever hated your self? No
Do you hate anyone? No
Do you like your feet? No, my feet were pretty until I started dancing.

HAVE YOU EVER...

Shoplifted? No.
Barfed in public? No.
Speeded? Umm.. yes.. lol.
Backed into a pole? Not yet!
Skinny-dipped? No.
Eaten plain ketchup? Yes, I used eat ketchup packets all the time.
Chugged anything? Dr. Pepper, okay that is bad. Don't ever do it.
Had a thought? Er, yes.
Been in love? Not really sure.
Dressed up as the opposite sex? I don't think so
Spanked a monkey? Oh yeah baby you know it. Haha no.

WHAT COMES TO MIND WHEN YOU THINK OF THE WORD...

Butt? Cheek.
Ralph? Lauren
Purple? Truley
Stick? Wood
Squeak? Alicia
Something? Huh?
Someone? Shhh. Not telling.
Love? Heartbreak.
Hate? Is stupid.
Revenge? Amazingly satisfying
Tart? Cassidy's mom
Crab? Legs
Crack? Sniffing Dani
Happiness? Good?
Money? Niice.
Lightning? Pretty..
Smoke? Ew.
Word? Sex.
Up? Down.
Heart? Love.

Jazz Choir baby..

2004-06-23T18:27:00.000-05:00

I'll have to post more later, but right now I can't stay long, just thought I'd mention why I haven't been online all day for the past two days.. I've been going to UCO's Gear-Up Jazz Unwrapped. It's soo cool. I'm singing, I'm an alto. Ugh. LOL, I sing soprano, it's been years since I've sung alto but they needed one so I did it. A little bit of a challenge is nice.. It's soo cool though. So much fun. Singing jazz is awesome. But yeah will give the details later.

Heh, I have a GREAT picture to post on here that I took but that will have to wait till later as well..

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I lied. I'm back, I came back.. anyways. I've discovered that I can't scat.. hmm. Pretty funny stuff though. Umm. Yeah, but wow, choir is so much fun!!! You guys have no idea. I guess it would be fun if you didn't like musis like I do.. but I don't know. I live for music. And theater and dance. But mainly music. Wow, what a passion. I am always singing, playing, or listening to music. I don't know how to describe it. If you have it you do, if not it's okay. Haha.. okay. Gonna go now.

Hmmm

2004-06-21T18:04:00.000-05:00

Currently I'm sharpie-ing all over this Clorox Disinfecting Wipes box... and then using the wipes inside to wipe it off. Bored? I think so. At least I might get to acutally do something this week..

sigh

2004-06-21T17:14:00.000-05:00

Okay, so now I'm at home.. once again, bored. Couldn't go to White Water today. Daphne couldn't go or come over cause she didn't have a ride. Devin couldn't go to White Water, I don't know why.. just because, and she can't come over because she's moving. I can't go to Daphne's tonight because I feel bad about leaving every time my mom tries to cook. Umm, Kayla made plans for Frontier City tomorrow which I'm still going to, but Daphne and Truley probably won't since I think they have plans with Travis. SOOOOOoo. Looks like I'm at home.. BORED again.

Ugh. They're making fun of ballet on Full House. I want to throw something at the TV.

This is nobody's fault but I'm starting to get really irritated stuck in the house alone all day.

Blog Skins

2004-06-21T11:55:00.000-05:00

Awww: http://www.blogskins.com/apply.php?sid=9996&action=Preview

Kinda small, but could be altered: http://www.blogskins.com/apply.php?sid=12564&action=Preview

Hehe: http://www.blogskins.com/apply.php?sid=12562&action=Preview

I actually like this one: http://www.blogskins.com/apply.php?sid=7151&action=Preview

I love this one: http://www.blogskins.com/apply.php?sid=12533&action=Preview

O.o: http://www.blogskins.com/apply.php?sid=12468&action=Preview

AWWWWW Fwends: http://www.blogskins.com/apply.php?sid=12482&action=Preview

Humm... I think that's enough for now.

cheers and dances around in circles

2004-06-20T18:55:00.000-05:00

We FINALLY got our Warped Tour tickets. OMG, that is like final 'YES' for me. I'm so freakishly happy about this tour. So many things I'm excited about it, I won't even go into it. *sigh* Today has been so boring. Psh. This whole week/summer has been so boring. LOL it's funny how I can still be bored after doing everything I did the past week. Went to White Water, went to Caitlin's, went to Austin's (sorta), went to Nick's, went to Alyssia's, and then finally the mall. And almost the mall AGAIN. BLAH. I'm so bored. Hehe, but I have a secret. Shh don't tell anyone.

Woe is me..

2004-06-19T20:04:00.000-05:00

Sigh. Poor me. I just got invited to a movie and I can't go. Sob. lol, I wanted to go really bad too! Grrr.. stupid mother. Anyways. Just got home. I went to Alyssia's 16th Birthday Party. Woo for her. It was fun. We got soaked from water balloons and the hose. We.. played some fuun games. Jumped on the trampoline.. and stayed outside listening to music, laying on the trampoline star gazing. Awww... it was so cool. And there were tiki torches and stuff. Yup cool stuff man. Then me, Lesi, and Caitey. We saw Devin and Otis, I gave Devin a heart attack, that was funny. Alyssia got some FOXY guy's number. Haha. We found the best boy watching place. Umm yeah then I just got home. *sigh* My mom won't let me do anything poop. Ugh I sound so immature. lol, I am. I'll never grow up. Never. Ever. I shall remain a child until I lie on my death bed. Bleh there's not much to write about.

Well that's about all folks. Be back later with something more interesting. Much Love.

Mmm..

2004-06-17T21:57:00.000-05:00

Remember how I wasn't feeling good? Well I went and laid down on the couch, fell asleep. I was probably asleep for about an hour. I feel so much freakin better.. woo!

Ugh.. ouch.

2004-06-17T17:43:00.000-05:00

I've been thinking too much lately. And Diana thinking plus loud rock music is not good. I have a headache and I don't feel good. I'm not very happy, I'm kinda cranky. lol. I'm gonna go take some meds and go watch TV.

Oh yeah baby.

2004-06-17T13:21:00.000-05:00

301 posts.

Taking Back Sunday

Which Warped Tour Band Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

AH! I'm such a dork. I just realized that my last entry says "Happy 6th Anniversary Devin and Otis" hmm. Sixth what? Lemme go change that. Dork.

HAPPY 6th MONTH ANNIVERSARY OTIS AND DEVIN!!

2004-06-17T12:23:00.000-05:00

Woo.. you crazy people. Six whole months. Congratulations you two.

Oh wow.

2004-06-16T23:56:00.000-05:00

xDarkBelladonnax: lol you guys are so awesome.
call1 800 pariah: thanks
call1 800 pariah: and in time you'll see you'll want to have sex with all of us...maybe even at the same time..but you have to hold back..i know its hard, but the rest of em have learned
call1 800 pariah: hahaha im just playin
xDarkBelladonnax: lol I want to have sex with you anyway. :-*
xDarkBelladonnax: hahahaha
xDarkBelladonnax: lol
call1 800 pariah: niice....
call1 800 pariah: can you bring friends too? that would be great
call1 800 pariah: ill bring some too
call1 800 pariah: big party
xDarkBelladonnax: lol
xDarkBelladonnax: sounds like fun to me.
call1 800 pariah: caitlin says its hard to restrain herself
xDarkBelladonnax: it is hard.

Oh man, Joe makes me laugh so much.

I have had so much fun the past two days. It's so sad though because I wanted to hang out with Daphne really bad. Her mom hates me though so she can't come over here and plus she didn't want to drive. And my mom didn't want to drive all the way to Midwest City. Hmm. Last night, went to Caitlin's house. Kayla was there. We had fun. We stayed up talking and being stupid.. we wanted to go TP Austins but her brother Joey wouldn't take us. Poop. Hmm. I made a new friend last night. Yay! LOL, so we talked on the phone to Austin for a while.. called Mark a million times. Called someone ELSE a million times. Then we fell asleep around 4:30 watching Pretty Woman.

When we woke up, we found out that Caitlin's front yard had been TPed. Hmmm. Coincidence? No. Yep, you guessed it. Austin. And his little broth James. Turns out they were ON THE PHONE with us while they were doing it. *sigh* Stupid us. So we cleaned it all up, stuffed it in a bag, walked a mile to Austin's house, spread all the toilet paper around his front yard, and left. Heh, then we walked back a mile. Wow we were dehydrated. lol. Turns out, it was his cranky neighbors house! Ah! It was so embarassing. We felt so stupid. Umm. Talked to people. Mark came over. We sat around being stupid. Cailin painted his nails! lol. And he sprayed FEBREEZE on my CROTCH. When I went to change, he was like.. there's no stain I promise. *hiss* He got me saying dude too. Then we went to the boy's band practice. Wow that was so awesome! They practice in this room that's smaller than my room with three guitars, two screamers.. lol. A set of drums, and like two huge amps. Talk about ears ringing. My ears have never rang this much before. But I'm so proud. I am no longer a virgin to Nick's house. Wow that sounds wrong. Umm, me, Caitlin, Kayla, Matt, and Martin were there plus the boys. Lots o fun. Then my mom came and picked me up from Caitlin's house and now I'm home. And I have to go. So I'll talk to everyone later. Wee! Had a lot of funnnnnnn...

Ahem.

2004-06-15T20:29:00.000-05:00

SelketRune: **Huggles** I'm releasing my inner mysterious vixen/sex-kitten this summer.

Wow, Dani's changed.

LOL. Hum. Went to White Water today. Not much new though. Haha I'm going to Caitlin's house tonight yay! Aww. Poop. I wanted to go to Daphne's too but my mom wouldn't drive me. I'm sad but I still get to go to Caitlin's so yay! I love you both. I have to post more later. Gotta go pack. Bye.

Okay..

2004-06-13T22:54:00.000-05:00

I'm just now realizing that I'm going through this punk rock stage. I have been for like a year. Anyway, I dunno why, but I decided to make a wish list for anybody who's crazy and buys people things in the middle of the year for no special reason. I just wanted to put this stuff down.. JUST IN CASE.

-A new CD Case that will hold a LOT. I have 42 just burned rock CDs from other people. My CD Case holds. like 32. And then there is all of my other music.. that I've burned and bought and such.

-Liz Phair's CD: Liz Phair

-Yellowcard: Ocean Avenue

-More burned CDs.. hehe.

-Permission to go to Warped. ::drool::

-Money!

Okay I'm done. Sorry bout that. I dunno what the point of posting that was. Nobody reads my blog..

2004-06-12T23:51:00.000-05:00

I am such a freaking dork! I just found out that Mark, Nick, Joe, Martin, Clay, and Brandi Cordell are all going to the Warped Toud down in Dallas. How sweet is that?! I'm so freakin excited. OMG!!!! So stupid. Anyway. I thought it was pretty cool. I dunno if I'm going for sure yet, but I sure hope so. And I hope Truley can go cause she said she probably could then she said she couldn't. I dunno. I am going to go anyways. I don't care. Here are the bands confirmed to play at the Smirnoff center, at least the ones I'm excited about:

Alkaline Trio
All American Rejects
Coheed and Cambria
The Early November
Flogging Molly
Good Charlotte
Senses Fail
Story of the Year
Taking Back Sunday
Thursday
Underoath
Yellowcard

Well I better go. Talk to everyone later.

Test

2004-06-12T12:35:00.000-05:00

I LOVE this song. I'm testing something out..

I looked away

Then I looked back at you

You try to say

The things that you can't undo

If I had my way

I'd never get over you

Today is the day

I pray that we make it through

Make it through the fall

Make it through it all

And I don't want to fall to pieces

I just want to sit and stare at you

I don't want to talk about it

And I don't want a conversation

I just want to cry in front of you

I don't want to talk about it

'Cause I'm in love with you

You're the only one

I'd be with 'til the end

When I come undone

You bring me back again

Back under the stars

Back into your arms

And I don't want to fall to pieces

I just want to sit and stare at you

I don't want to talk about it

And I don't want a conversation

I just want to cry in front of you

I don't want to talk about it

'Cause I'm in love with you

Wanna know who you are

Wanna know where to start

I wanna know what this means

Wanna know how you feel

Wanna know what is real

I wanna know everything

Everything

I don't want to fall to pieces

I just want to sit and stare at you

I don't want to talk about it

And I don't want a conversation

I just want to cry in front of you

I don't want to talk about it

And I don't want to fall to pieces

I just want to sit and stare at you

I don't want to talk about it

And I don't want a conversation

I just want to cry in front of you

And I don't want to talk about it

'Cause I'm in love with you

I'm in love with you

'Cause I'm in love with you

I'm in love with you

I'm in love with you

-Fall To Pieces By: Avril Lavigne

Testing

2004-06-12T12:31:00.000-05:00

This is such a pretty song! I'm testing something out..

I looked away

Then I looked back at you

You try to say

The things that you can't undo

If I had my way

I'd never get over you

Today is the day

I pray that we make it through

Make it through the fall

Make it through it all

And I don't want to fall to pieces

I just want to sit and stare at you

I don't want to talk about it

And I don't want a conversation

I just want to cry in front of you

I don't want to talk about it

'Cause I'm in love with you

You're the only one

I'd be with 'til the end

When I come undone

You bring me back again

Back under the stars

Back into your arms

And I don't want to fall to pieces

I just want to sit and stare at you

I don't want to talk about it

And I don't want a conversation

I just want to cry in front of you

I don't want to talk about it

'Cause I'm in love with you

Wanna know who you are

Wanna know where to start

I wanna know what this means

Wanna know how you feel

Wanna know what is real

I wanna know everything

Everything

I don't want to fall to pieces

I just want to sit and stare at you

I don't want to talk about it

And I don't want a conversation

I just want to cry in front of you

I don't want to talk about it

And I don't want to fall to pieces

I just want to sit and stare at you

I don't want to talk about it

And I don't want a conversation

I just want to cry in front of you

And I don't want to talk about it

'Cause I'm in love with you

I'm in love with you

'Cause I'm in love with you

I'm in love with you

I'm in love with you

-Fall To Pieces By: Avril Lavigne

Okay.. so I lied.

2004-06-12T06:50:00.000-05:00

I still am not going to bed. I just saw this outside and it freaked me out. Since when is the sun out at 6:22 in the morning? And why the fuck am I still up? A LOT of freakin people have been seeming to have sleeping problems lately. I know I did last night as well. Hum. *sigh* I'm gonna be so tired in the morning. How stupid. Why am I up?!?!?!?! It's 6 freaking 30 in the morning. *sigh* I'm clinically insane. And I didn't even realize that the sun was out or I would have went outside and watched it rise. Damn. I'm so unlucky. Aww.. there is a robin in my backyard. It's so pretty. Ah.. I hear the rumble of cars. Which means people are up and about going to work. Haha. Poor them. I'll be home.. sleeping. Because I'm stupid and didn't go to sleep the night before. Hey, it's not my fault. I COULDN'T. Therefore, I decided to do something valuable with my time. Like.. post online. Heh. Oh, I forgot to mention that Caitlin burned me some CDs. She still has like 4 to go, but she gave me six yesterday. I love her. I'll post the titles and crap later. Too lazy. Ooh.. I'm thirsty. I should go get something to drink. Hum. Because that would be the smart thing to do. Yup. I did. Mm mm good. Orange Juice. Heh, I just opened all the curtains in my house so I can see outside to the lovely world. Looks like I shall be up until my mom leaves for work, and by then I'll prolly be sleepy and go to sleep until like..4 pm. She's gonna come out and be like "What the hell is wrong with you?" And I'll yawn and fall over. Hum. Weird. Blogger is running really slow. YEAH! I have 200 Karma. And I still have two touches left for today. That sucks though because I still have all day to be on Melo. Oh well. Touches to people for World
Without End. Well I guess I better go.. again. Heh. Love to all.

PS- I love you.

2004-06-12T05:38:00.000-05:00

Random song lyrics as titles. Sorry.

It's 5:34. You may ask why I am up at 5:34 in the morning right? Heh. It's not because I'm psycho and wake up this early every morning. I woke up about two hours ago and laid in bed trying to go back to sleep. Hmm.. well I obviously couldn't. I didn't get to get on the computer last night when I got home so I decided I would go get on it now. Nothing better to do. I took some Melatonin so I could go back to sleep but it hasn't kicked in yet. So I'll be online until then. I keep thinking I'll wake up my mom cause her doors open and then I'll be in trouble. But I'm too lazy to close it so yeah. Humm. Really really bored.I was up thinking all night. I never really went to sleep. I almost got there. But it never happened. Then I woke up. Haha, I know how Kayla felt last night. I just, can't freakin sleep. Damn. Whoo! Melo is up. And Kayla went whoring for me, cause I left her house still signed on. Heh, that's so sweet of her.

Boys had a gig last night. They were havin a little bit of techinical difficulties, their equipment was kinda knocked out of tune, but it's all good. They rock and we know it. I still love them. So freakin much. Haha, Nick gave me his pick. W00t!

Ooh.. I forgot I was posting. Tis now 5:46. Yep. Still not sleepy. Just sittin around reading people's blogs and Melos. Just thought I'd update since I haven't in a couple of days. On Wednesday, Truley and Nolan came over.. we sat around and talked and watched TV. Truley stayed the night, we watched a couple of movies. How To Lose a Guy in Ten Days and The Truth About Cats and Dogs <-- Which I fell asleep in the middle of. Hmm. The next morning, we got up.. went to White Water. Spent the day being silly. We were there from 2-7:30. Needless to say, we were pooped. We saw Mary Beth there, hung out with her a little. Then Kayla Z. showed up. That was fun. Hehe, so me, Truley, and Kayla went back to my house. Then my mom took us to Truley's house. We stayed the night there. We watched You Got Served and Gigli <-- I fell asleep in the middle of THAT too. Word of advice, Gigli is stupid. It's so incredibly stupid. Bleh. We waited all night for the boys to come teepee us. They didn't. They might be sometime soon though. Hmm. Woke up in the morning. Took me to Kayla's house. Then took Truley and Kayla back to Kayla/Alicia's house. Twas fun. Me and Kayla went to Frontier City. Met up with Austin. Spend two or so hours there. Then we went back to her house. Got ready. Went to Caitlin's. Spent like half an hour there. Then we left for the show. Fun stuff huh? I've had a really busy past three days. Yeah. I'm stil not tired.. and it is now 6:04. I think I should go now. Have other things to do. Eh, I'm too lazy to type out two posts so this will be going in both my Blog and Melo. Have a good day kids.

OMG, how fun!

2004-06-11T00:01:00.000-05:00

Me and Truley went to White Water today.. omg, we had so much fun.. there weren't very many people there but the water wasn't even cold so we didn't have to wait in ANY lines. It was so sweet. Then Mary Beth showed up and then Kayla Zoch. And we hung out. Ooh.. lots of cute boys there today. Wow, it was cuhrazay. Haha, we rode the Big Kahuna four freaking times to talk to this cute lifeguard that was hittin' on Mary. It was hilarious. Hmm.. and then me, Truley and Kayla went back to my house.. and now we're at Truley's stayin the night bein stupid. We watched "You Got Served". OMG, they played "The Choice is Yours" in that movie. It was so weird! I was sittin there, and they were having this battle and I heard "Dis.. or dat.." I started freaking out it was funny. Good movie though. Ooh, lots of *good* music. We were up dancing, it was pretty funny. Hmm..

Tomorrow is the WWE show! I'm so freakin excited! I get to see my girls and boys.. it's been so long. And I get to go to the lovely Kaylers house. W00t! Hmm. Yeah, and Caitlin is burning me ten new CDs. Heh, I love her. Everybody I know better be at that show tomorrow! It's at the Rockin Roller Rink in Edmond. 8 'o' clock. $5 cover charge. Like I said, you better be there.. Haha! Okay. Talk to everyone laters! Byes.

"And everyone will bite their tongue so hard.."

2004-06-09T14:15:00.000-05:00

I'm so bored. Somebody save me. I wanna go Laser Tagging! Or do SOMETHING. I've been sitting around on my ass for like a week now. You guys, I'm gonna get FAT! Seriously. We need to get the RP fixed so people will acutally POST! Yes. I'm yelling at Devin and Dani. LOL, post! Give me something to do. Instead of complaining to people how bored I am and listening to music all day. And work on HTML, or eat and watch TV. *sigh* I feel like a pig. I need to go do something physical since dance is out. Maybe my mom will take me to the gym tonight. If Truley doesn't come over that is. Ugh. Somebody save me. I've seen some of you, but I need to see you all! I miss my dear friends. Bye lows.

To Nolan, Devin, and Alicia:

2004-06-08T22:38:00.000-05:00

Haha, you guys are great.

"Nolan! Nolan! Nolan!"

"Everybody eats berries.."

"She landed in the popcorn bowl!"

"What are you two doing down there??"

.. and to Nolan:

"Is Alicia there?"

"Is Alicia where?"

"Is Alicia... THERE?"

Can't Eat

2004-06-07T16:57:00.000-05:00

Haha, cool thing Stephen sent me. It's perfect.

Can't
eat beef.......

.....mad cow

Can't
eat chicken......

.......bird flu

Can't
eat eggs.....

....cholesterol

Can't
eat pork.......

........bacteria

Can't
eat fish.......

.......mercury

Can't
eat fruit.......

.....insecticides

Can't
eat vegetables.....

......herbicides

Now, the way I see it; that only leaves

CHOC-O-LATE....!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Wow

2004-06-07T16:53:00.000-05:00

Working @ ICS today was so much fun. I expected it to be boring but we always had something to do and working with Jessica was cool. Caitlin was cool too but she was.. preppy? I guess I am too. Anyways, both cool cool girls. And working there is tons of fun. I love Jessica, she's a dork just like me. Haha. I'll get to see her a lot too since she's Tracy's cousin. Well, off to a dance lesson. *grumble* Be back later.

LOL, this is funny.

2004-06-05T23:43:00.000-05:00

prodridiot: it sux
prodridiot: (esp since its childrens week)
xDarkBelladonnax: yeah
prodridiot: (i mean seriously, we have to deal with 4th grade boys who are scared and confused w/ their hundred dollar bills an dont know what to buy.....
prodridiot: so what do they do?
xDarkBelladonnax: lol.. give them to me!
xDarkBelladonnax: I mean..
xDarkBelladonnax: go to the store
xDarkBelladonnax: lol
prodridiot: they go to the grocery store, w/ the whole deer in the headlights look, an buy a gallon of milk, a loaf of bread, and a box of tampons (since that's what mommy does w/ her hundred dollar bill, right?))
xDarkBelladonnax: roflmao
prodridiot: we hafta explain that they prob dont wanna do that
xDarkBelladonnax: lol
xDarkBelladonnax: because.. well that would just be useless
prodridiot: we hafta convince them that icees for the rest of the week taste better than those do
prodridiot: ya
prodridiot: esp. the latter

PS.

2004-06-05T23:14:00.000-05:00

I got a bunch of roses and an award! W00t, go me.

Recital.

2004-06-05T22:21:00.000-05:00

Whoosh man, I am TI-URD. Just got back hom from recital. Got up @ 7 this morning. Got ready, left @ 7:30, got there about 7:45. We had our little meeting, and somehow I got roped into helping Cassidty (my fellow dancer and stage manager) so then I became assitant stage manager. So all morning I was signing in little kids. Getting them ready, keeping people quiet, kicking people out of the backstage area.. so much mass chaos. All this while doing my choreography piece like.. 6 times. So I worked from 9-2. Non stop on my feet. Then we went to Cafe 501 in Edmond for lunch.. mm mm good place. Then we drove down to the city to get Cassidy's hair thing. Went back up to Edmond. Drove to Wal-Mart so Jessica could get tape. Then I played cards for about half an hour before having to go put on make-up and get ready for the show, in which I did the same thing I did @ dress rehearsal, for three more hours. So.. I worked a total of eight hours on my feet today. Goodness. I am tired. Very, very tired. Yeah, that was my day for anyone who cares. Heh, Stephen came to my recital! Thank ya Stephen.

On to other things, Cassidy promised to teach me to drive a manual this summer, so that's what I'll be doing. And hey! Stephen's mom said she might take us to Warped.. so I'm crossin my fingers!

There we go.

2004-06-04T17:17:00.000-05:00

Sing the Sorrow

Which Album from AFI are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

Does anyone ever come by here anymore?

2004-06-04T14:22:00.000-05:00

So what's up everyone? Not much here, just Karma whoring as usual. Melo's up so decided I would take advantage of it. I was reading rustyhalo's melo. Ther was a post on there about how Congress was trying to pass bills to reinstate the drafting process for men *and* women. And how college was no longer an exception. I don't know if it's true or if it will happen. If you want though, take action. Take a little time out of your day to write to a congressman to express your point of view. It may not affect you now, but it will ultimately affect future generations. Even if you don't do anything about it, I thought that this was an interesting article, and it's there. So you know, and are a little bit more aware of what all is changing in our society.

Anyway, here is the link.

Haha, I took Rachael's Quizilla quiz thing. I got Sing the Sorrow, I just need to get around to posting the icon. Woot though. I'm proud of her. Kewl quiz. Umm. I don't know what else to talk about so I shall be going.

Ah.. here are some Blogskins I found.

Beautiful winter skin: http://www.blogskins.com/apply.php?sid=7733&action=Preview

Actually kind of cool: http://www.blogskins.com/apply.php?sid=11316&action=Preview

How cool: http://www.blogskins.com/apply.php?sid=10750&action=Preview

Ooh.. : http://www.blogskins.com/apply.php?sid=10760&action=Preview

w00t! Linkin Park: http://www.blogskins.com/apply.php?sid=11770&action=Preview

Made for Kacy, literally: http://www.blogskins.com/apply.php?sid=11783&action=Preview

Ocean Avenue - By: Yellowcard

2004-06-02T20:59:00.000-05:00

I love this song!!

There's a place off Ocean Avenue
Where I used to sit and talk with you
We were both 16
And it felt so right
Sleeping all day, staying up all night
Staying up all night

There's a place on the corner of Cherry Street
We would walk on the beach in our bare feet
We were both 18
And it felt so right
Sleeping all day, staying up all night
Staying up all night

If I could find you now
Things would get better
We would leave this town
And run forever
Let your waves crash down on me
And take me away, yea

Theres a piece of you that's here with me
Its everywhere I go
It's everything I see
When I sleep
I dream and it gets me by
I can make believe that you're here tonight
That you're here tonight

If I could find you now
Things would get better
We would leave this town
And run forever
I know some where, some how
We'll be together
Let your waves crash down on me
And take me away, yea

I remember that look in your eyes
When I told you this was good bye
You were begging me not tonight
Not here
Not now

When looking up at the same night sky
And keep pretending the sun will not rise
We'll be together for one more night
Some where
Some how

If I could find you now
Things would get better
We would leave this town
And run forever
I know some where, some how
We'll be together
Let your waves crash down on me
And take me away, yea

Wow!!!

2004-06-02T15:15:00.000-05:00

Okay, so me and Alyssia were outside laying on her trampoline.. relaxing cause it was cloudy and really nice. Well, al of sudden, we look up and there is this huge cloud thing moving over us it was so freaking cool. So we lay down, and this gigantic cloud is moving really really quickly over us. Then it gets super dooper windy.. so we go inside to watch the news. Turns out there's going to be super strong winds and hail in like ten minutes so we go outside to jump on the trampoline some more. Then it starts raining. So we're all happy and running around screaming "I'm ready.. I'm ready.." being the psycho people we are. Hmm. Then it started raining even harder and it started hailing so whoo! We were out playing in the heavy heavy rain and hail for about twenty minutes. Just jumping on the trampoline being stupid. And now I'm soaked.. sitting at a computer posting in my Blog. *sigh* Fun stuff man.. fun stuff. You all should play in the rain.. it's refreshing. Mother Nature raining down on her beautiful creation.. woo! So much fun. I can't ask for anything better.

Shopping

2004-05-29T19:11:00.000-05:00

Whoo hoo. I went shopping with Kacy, Amy, and Karin today. Fun stuff, girls day out.. shopping. I got two new shirts, and *cutest* dress. It's black with red stars all over it. TEN dollars at Hot Topic. And Kacy got a really cute pink and black from HT too. We also got pink jelly bracelets for like a dollar. Hot Topic was having a CRAZY sale. IT was great. Hehe. We went to.. Dillards? One of those stores and tried on prom dresses. For the hell of it. It was so fun. I tried on the CUTEST black dress. It was strapless.. about knee length. It was fitted until the waist where it flared out. And it had white polka dots.. little ones, with a pink stripe across the top and pink mesh sticking out the bottom. And it looked so cute on me too. I wanted to get it.. but it was a hundered and fifteen dollars. Poop. Oh wells. Yeah, we ended up talking about Junior Prom this year. That was really interesting. Anyways, today was fun. I'm sure there's more I can talk about but I'm talking to people's so bye.

PS- MELO IS STUPID!

Bwee!

2004-05-28T23:00:00.000-05:00

Just got back from Nolan's. That was funnnnn...we watched Honey **ooh..good movie** and School of Rock **ooh..another good movie** Yep yuppers. It was funny, we were all sprawled out over Nolan's bed. And they kept tickling me. ::glares at Daphne, Truley, and Nolan:: Ah.. oh wells. Haha, after Truley left me and Dap decided we were sleeping on Nolan's bed and so he turned off the lights and I almost fell asleep even though it was for like.. ten seconds. I was tired.. and laying down. lol. His bed is so comfy. Well, hmm. We might be going to FC tomorrow. Give me a call if ya wanna go. Love to you all.

Preoccupied without you, I cannot live at all..

2004-05-28T14:28:00.000-05:00

Hmm.. yesterday was sad. I cried a handful. As I have a lot of times this year. But then more then ever. *sigh* Hmm. Stephen's party was.. interesting.. but fun nontheless. Blah. I was gonna post but I got distracted and now.. two hours have passed and I don't remember. Hum. Go read my Melo. It's a lot more personal.

Hot-Pink and Black Chocolate Covered Diamonds

Come back down to earth

Did you know I missed you? God, I miss you.

my hands were shaking rather waste some time with you

.don't.call.my.name.out.your.window.i'm.leaving.

Happy Turkey Day.

Won't you think I'm pretty when I'm standing top the bright lit city?

Beware the rantings of Di.

My horoscope yesterday.

Oh what a beautiful morning..

There are times to let it go..

Life.. is great.

Eff.

Grrr.

*dances around in circles*

Football is my life. At least it will be tomorrow

GO OU SOONERS!

There's a strange exhilaration..

World Without End

I can take you away from here

I'm a nut.

Movies.

Why Should I Care?

Showers are good for the soul too

Sigh.

Boys will always be boys..

I'm sick of writing every song.. about you.

I just got a new sn.

Shopping is a girl's best friend..

OMFG.

I've been so hollow inside

I'm off to see the wizard FAIR.

3rd post tonight.

I'm a wishful thinker with the worst intentions

Good things won't last forever

Woo baby.

You'll probably think this is about you. But it's not. Or it might be. Who knows?

*sigh of relief*

Is it worth it can you even hear me?

The best night EVER.

Listening to the sweet serenade of the electric guitar..

Pull the trigger and the nightmare stops

Eff You.

AFI rocks my world.

Hmmm

I wanna scream, it makes me feel alive

Gah, save me from my homework..

It's so much easier to run..

My first day as a junior..

Somebody rip my heart out, and leave me here to bleed..

Shame on me

Every window pane is shattering..

Fun Stuff.

Test post cause Melo is down..

I had the BEST time EVER..

Rarg.

Farewell to Friends

Dude, Blogger has changed..

Haha Devin's quotes

Re-reading old posts.

Melo.

Daphne..

Oh my wow.

Oh. My. Fucking. Freaking. God.

Oh wow babay. Jazz Choir and Warped Tour!!!!

My favorist picture ever!

OMG Daphne..

Blog Skins and Surveys..

Jazz Choir baby..

Hmmm

*sigh*

Blog Skins

*cheers and dances around in circles*

Woe is me..

Mmm..

Ugh.. ouch.

Oh yeah baby.

HAPPY 6th *MONTH* ANNIVERSARY OTIS AND DEVIN!!

Oh wow.

Ahem.

dances around in circles

sigh of relief

sigh

cheers and dances around in circles

HAPPY 6th MONTH ANNIVERSARY OTIS AND DEVIN!!